HOOVESWEEK 3

[ponymeisters]

[Morning, Equestrians! Because of the nature of news that has been happening, its that time again albeit a bit early for its quarterly-ish print runs, but news is news, right? and the newsponies have a new, fresh stock of Equestria's most-read magazine!

Of course, some of them have little black sleeves stapled to the top of them in order to spare those with delicate stomachs the ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE CONTENT that is the newest Hoovesweek cover, depending on where it is bought. But, otherwise...]




Might this pony even be worse than Discord himself? A murder most foul, and yet where's the punishment for this heinous mad criminal?! Can a hoedown and "beerklava" really help the poor ponies move on...!???! This is, without a doubt, the most controversial cover story we have ever done - complete with the most controversial cover, showing what is believed to have happened that terrible night!

Other Top Stories Include:
Title: The Changeling Zetta
by Gelt Beck

Title: The Handiest Man In Everfree Forest
by Bertie Wooster (edited by Hoovesweek)

Title: Nightmare Night, What a Blight
by Timberwolf Blitzer


BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE:

-Sources discussing the disappearance of Princess Luna - well, a Princess Luna, and why we should - and shouldn't - be too worried.
-An article discussing the attempted Marelyn Monriowche heist and speculation surrounding the mysterious but dashing masked mare who foiled the robbery.
-A photo gallery of the best of the best from Rarity of Ponyville, who also discusses her upcoming show and her relationship with the wannabe overlord, Zetta!
-In entertainment news, an exclusive interview with Tom Shanks about his top-secret biographical flick, in which he teases a few juicy hints as to its confidential subject.
-In foaleign news, congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridle to giving birth to a healthy baby colt! Now, surely, its finally time to look at possible marriage candidates for our ruler...?
-A short Daring Do story about the dungeon that apparently exists underneath the library - from the anonymous author of Daring Do themselves!


So come one, come all, and read HOOVESWEEK! Only 5 bits a copy - now and forever!

((OOC: As usual, feel free to react, or comment on those stories, or even make up seeing other stories in this issue!

And, original picture credit is...Ni! It probably shows, too.))

Comments

[millionbitpipes]

[Just. This face. Is that seriously what passes for domestic disputes here?]

[ponymeisters]

[Do not look askance at the very serious business of the Apple Family's world-famous apple cider, Mr. Finevoice. Angry bucks were the least that might be done to the cider-guzzling boyfriend on the prowl!]

Who even is her boyfriend if it's not you?

[millionbitpipes]

He ain't here.

[ponymeisters]

Convenient story.

[She's sure eying you with suspicion once more, Harvey.]

[millionbitpipes]

...yeah. Real convenient. In fact, we arranged this whole universe-jumpin' pony thing ourselves just to get away from him. [He really hopes ponies understand sarcasm.]

[ponymeisters]

[As luck would have it, this one does. She cocks a brow at him, then glances up as if considering it.]

Fair enough. Well... even if you're not dating her, you'd best treat her right, Mr. Finevoice! Ponies in Canterlot or Las Pegasus might brook that kind of thing, but we're friendly folk here in Ponyville. And nopony should make another pony bleed.

[Bruise them, well... that was another story and cider came into it. Everything could be forgiven during cider season.]

[millionbitpipes]

[And just like that, the irritation's gone.]

...yeah. Yeah, you're right.

[ponymeisters]

[She shakes her head, then points back at her gaggle of friends.]

I'll tell them the papers might have got it a little wrong. I'll be keeping an eye on you, though!

[And with that, the pegasus zips away to go share this latest gossip.]

[millionbitpipes]

...I don't even know who the hay you are.

[He mutters to himself as she zips away. He still can't really believe he just went into this whole thing with some random mare off the street - shaking his head, he just turns and walks away before anypony else can recognize him.]