mylittlejamjar | HOOVESWEEK 9

[Morning, Equestrians! It’s that time again, and the newsponies have a new, fresh stock of Equestria's most-read magazine!

Sadly, its back to normal...]

Celestia inexplicably hearing voices for Nightmare Night, an ancient monster stalking the lands on Hearth's Warming...with a friend like Discord, the Element of Kindness will never want for an enemy - and nor will anypony else who is not an off-worlder, thanks to her! Is it time for Celestia to wake up and see the truth?

Other Top Stories Include:

Title: Chaos vs. Kindness
by Timberwolf Blitzer

Title: The Fright Before Hearth's Warming (And the Psychotic Apple Hoarder Who Didn't Help)
by Gelt Buck

Title: Skyfire: Setting the Sky (and a Town) on Fire
by Rosy Hooves

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE:

-A discussion on the rat infestation in Ponyville. Proerty values are definitely going to go down at this rate!
-Princess Cadence's shipping wall is discussed, and how its been causing friction between established couples.
-Princess Luna has not been immune to the madness, as reports of her trapping ponies in their dreams have been reported from around the world. Is Nightmare Moon not too far away?
-The excavations at Stalliongrad continue, but as our expose reveals, the influx of off-worlders stealing items has become a problem for those fighting to preserve these special ruins.
-A talking toy car? Our science editor discusses whether this strange phenomenon is fact, or fiction.
-An editorial about being held hostage by yogurt zombies. The verdict: not bad, if you're willing to give up dairy.
-In foaleign news, we look at the Hearth's Warming pictures of Duke and Duchess of Cambridle's first born son!

So come one, come all, and read HOOVESWEEK! Only 5 bits a copy - now and forever!

[Oh, you thought it was over? The ponies of Ponyville likely haven't even gotten their muzzles off the ground when, out of warning, a courier is rushing around, handing the off-worlder ponies - and a few of the natives, though not Princess Twilight Sparkle, Cadence, either Luna, or Captain Celestia, notably - an envelope addressed to them.

What is in it is...well...

((OOC: For those three winners of the Writing Contest among the playerbase, they received their copy of Hoovesweek the night before the issue hit stands. They got their invitations at the same time everypony else, though.

Original picture credit is here.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ever wanted to see York actually angry? Well, here's your chance. It's not much, really, but as soon as he sees the ticket for the supposed Film Festival, well...

He may have taken a good number of Hoovesweek copies from a nearby stall and set up an impromptu bonfire, sacrificing one of his last remaining cigarettes and lighting it up on the pyre of magazines. They want to steal his idea? Trademark it and stomp all over what it stood for? Then Hoovesweek is going to feel the full force of the FBI's presence in Equestria.]

*There's a hoof on your shoulder, York. Although Alastor's own eyes have a dangerous look in them.*

Remember, this is meant to rile us up.

Is that so, Alastor? Well. It worked.

I was already planning on seeing what's up, but now? It's become a little more personal.

Time and a place, York. Don't give them the reaction they want, not now, anyway.

I'm gonna go to this thing, too.

*He gives a smile, though it's not a pleasant one. It shows far too much fang, and the dangerous look in his dark eyes is still there.*

And I'm going to make them wish they hadn't invited me, without giving them anything to point at and say I'm dangerous.

Then I suppose we're going to be working towards the same end. [There's no smile from the investigator, as his temper has been provoked and he's now working out a plan on how to get in deep and cut the heart out of Hoovesweek.]

Though... y'know, try not to cause too much havoc before I get a chance to talk with somebody.

I'm not going to cause any havoc at all. In fact, I'm going to be a perfect gentleman. Wouldn't wanna pass up the chance to make some new friends, after all.

[Well, thank goodness that the stallpony was basically used to this by now. He casually moves his stall away 50 feet so it doesn't catch fire either.

That bad, huh.]

[Oh, and there's Q, looking condescendingly on York.]

Oh, well, congratulations - you just proven him right. Don't you feel better now?

Not particularly. But... well. Rage doesn't exactly suit me. I'm already embarassed, trust me.

[See? He's already starting to put out the fire. Not his cig, though, just the magazine bonfire.]

You former-humans, I swear. Go flying off the handle the second your pride gets wounded.

Then again, I find that to be a lot better than being "enlightened".

This goes a little bit beyond pride, Q. Not very much, but still.

It's a blatant challenge to offworlders, and I'm sure the "festival" will be a trap of some sort. That's what I need to start figuring out now.

[... Excuse you, she was reading that front spread. Still, glowering at the bonfire, she turns her head to pick up some snow and dump it upon the flames. She's still getting used to the horn; ignore the multiple piles of snow.]

[You know what? He's just going to let this happen. That's fine. This is fine. He kinda lost his temper anyway, and it wouldn't have done much good to let that fire rage.]

... sorry about that.

[Fire out, the violet-red hue horn glow fades.]

Try not to let that happen again.

[York sighs, finally turning towards the (helpful) unicorn intruding on his little rage party.]

Not something you'll need to worry about, Miss. This invitation caught me... off-guard. And that's rare.

Good.

[The pale unicorn with a star on her flank just stares back.]

Yes... that invitation. Do they expect us to be in attendance?

I think they would be incredibly suspicious if we weren't. Which is to say this is all but mandatory... which is what makes me think it's a trap.

Especially given that Hoovesweek has been, historically, less than kind to the non-natives here.

Well, I'll have to arrange a formal apology later. [IE, not at all] I've handed my invitation off to someone who was enthralled at the idea of receiving one.

[Though, she doubts they actually know she's... well... here.]

[There may be a 20-foot green dragon watching you start your bonfire, York.

She may even gently blow some flames onto the fire to make it burn even brighter, before fanning them with her tail.]

HOOVESWEEK 9

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