Hyaaa ha ha ha ha, etc. [Visual]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[The Overlord flings his scroll open dramatically, letting purple mana power wash over it as he steps back to lift one foreleg dramatically.]

In honor of our returnees, I'm pleased to announced the opening of Overlord Zetta's official Friend and Lover Matchmaking service! Want the chance to make a friend? Care to try a blind date? These ties of togetherness are our strongest bond against Calice, so now's the time to grow them and make new ones!

Sign up with your basic preferences and preferred service, and my elite team of matchmaking minions will send you the time and place to meet your new friend or date. And in honor of putting the screws to our nemesis, this service is absolutely freaking free!

Comments

[Visual]

[freeasthewind]

...You are the last person I thought would ever think up something like this.

[Visual]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hyaaa ha ha ha ha! I'm just freakin' full of surprises! Never underestimate the rightful Overlord of Equestria or his rule!

[Visual]

[freeasthewind]

[Feena laughs. She can't help it. She always liked Zetta for the most part, and found the dude to be really funny. Well... he was to her, at least.]

Right. I'm happy to see you doing something like this. Shows great character.

[Visual]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

So I should take this as your signup, then? Since obviously you approve, and also want to take down Big Bad and Broken.

[sailorlaughter]

Can you sign up other people?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

That'd defeat the point, wouldn't it? You can't MAKE people make friends or go on dates. They have to want it. This service is to help people who want to, but maybe don't know how to go about it, or don't know where to start.

[sailorlaughter]

But if you're too nervous to talk to ponies and make friends, wouldn't you be too nervous to TELL everyone about it?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

That's exactly the point! This way you just sign up for the service that helps you and bam, you're off on an adventure with someone new to try to get to know.

[aura_spear]

[Considering this for a moment, Pyrrha couldn't help jumping in with a question of her own.]

What about two individuals who are already friends, but perhaps are dancing around something more? Would it be all right to sign up for them, just to see if their friendship can lead to something further?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

No, because for every good intention someone has, there's ten jokesters who decided to send two platonic friends on a romantic date as a prank, and then there goes the reputation of my service. Besides, I'm not matching people who are already matched!

visual -> private text

[appletastic]

Hey, I promised you I'd give it a shot, so. You'll be getting a form in a minute.

[A message follows shortly after. It reads:]

Applejack. Farm pony. Looking to maybe try this dating thing. Gimme somepony around the same age who can be up with the roosters and who won't tire out if we're out a while.

[Private text]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Gotcha. Farm pony, inexperienced but willing to try, similar ages, looking for lots of energy, sexy butt.

[Private text]

[appletastic]

Is that last bit really necessary?

[gotanappforthat]

I'll be signing Patchouli Knowledge up for your dating service. She is a picky woman who seems to have preferences still hidden to the public.

If you enjoy a challenge.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

...Look, good intentions are great and all, but I'm not forcing anyone into this, nor CAN I.

[gotanappforthat]

According to my research, this is the sole purpose of matchmaking services, is it not?

[visual]

[tookalevelinbadass]

Matchmaking? You're not a dark lord or a dark lord's servant then? [This little pony's jaw hangs open. Safe to say Pippin hasn't heard about Zetta's promotion either.]

[visual]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

What? Of course I am! I'm a freaking Overlord -- THE freaking Overlord of Equestria! [Zetta spreads his wings dramatically, tossing his head back to show off his horn in turn. Behold his alicorny awesomeness!]</small

[visual]

[tookalevelinbadass]

Why would you do something so kind for the ponies here then? Helping them make friends or meet those they may court certainly doesn't seem evil-intended.

[visual]

[der_vogelfanger]

Oh! Oh! Me! Pick me, I need a --

Well, I guess I don't need lady friends now that I'm married. But I could still use the regular kind of friends!

[visual]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

How the hell does a guy like you get married, anyway?

[visual]

[der_vogelfanger]

You know, I'm still not really sure. First she was an old woman, and then she wasn't but the priests forbade me to see her and of course I tried to hang myself, but then she came back, so I didn't need to. She's very like me, you know, and we're going to have a whole house full of children someday!

[visual]

[selfmadespeedster]

Either this is some sort of scheme or you turned over a new leaf while I was gone. What happened to taking over the world and making us all your slaves?

[visual]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I claimed Equestria as my domain a while back. Even got the cosmic proof.

[Zetta fans his wings out demonstratively.]

[visual]

[selfmadespeedster]

Oookaaaay. Are those real? Or are your minions holding those wings up next to you?