Eight Cupcakes: She Who Must Not Be Named

[sailorlaughter]

Hey, everyone! Guess what?

I'm big again! [Confetti flies from the sides of the scroll, to the sound of air horns.]

Yeeeeeah, being a filly's cool and all, but I like being this age WAY better! I've got my cutie mark, and I can throw parties whenever I want, and I actually remember who all of you are!

Anyway, y'know how I kinda-sorta brought Nemo back to life a little while ago? I was thinking about what he said, with the Pale Pony having all kinds of different names and stuff, and I had an idea! We should give her a new name! 'Cause she sounds like a really really biiiiiiig meaniehead, and Pale Pony's a really really cool name! And sorta scary! So if we give her a different name and make it a funny one, we can all just laugh at her instead and she won't be cool anymore!

So, does anyone have any ideas? I'll start! How abouuuuuuut...Gypsum A la Nastier? Chalk Bottom? Salt Peter?

Comments

[sailorlaughter]

Wellllll, Nemo says that whenever anypony who comes here in the rainbows goes away again, they end up with her. And she's got Owl Eyes that can mind-control them! So when the statue ponies come here, if they're doing bad things it's probably not really their fault.

[mechmadeoflove]

Oh, that's just fantastic. Psychic subversion. That's buckin' peachy.

[He's heard horror stories about the more spectacular Bliss-Outs.]

Statue ponies. Okay. Statue ponies, what are those? Strengths, weaknesses, ways to secure and contain? Sorry, this was kind of my job back home.

[sailorlaughter]

That's how the dead ponies and rainbowed ponies come back here! They're made out of gypsum alabaster, which falls apart REALLY fast in water, so I guess if you needed to you could get them wet. I mean, they don't usually stay very long anyway, then they blow up in rainbows and the ponies go away again, so it doesn't HURT them when the statues get broken.

[mechmadeoflove]

Water. Huh. And it doesn't harm them. Any known downsides?

And one more thing - does this look at all familiar?

(He holds up a thin silver circlet that - actually, it looks a hell of a lot like the crown containing the Element of Magic, but it's much less ornate and has a hexagonal diamond surrounded by small triangles instead of a big purple star.)

Sorry. I just figure as long as I'm here, I may get on defense duty.

[sailorlaughter]

I dunno. You'd probably need a LOT of water to dissolve just one. It's not like just splashing it on them.

...is it an Element of Harmony?

[mechmadeoflove]

[Josh is familiar enough with the show Equestria from boredom + his not-a-girlfriend + movie night to know what the Elements of Harmony are - and his eyes go wide]

God, I hope not. Like, seriously, if it is something has gone really seriously wrong. We didn't HAVE those back home.

[Wait, Josh - aren't the Elements weaponized intimacy emmitters? Doesn't that remind you of anything?]

...I don't think we had them on my world, anyway. I. Uh. Huh.

[sailorlaughter]

Oh! Well, I dunno then. It LOOKS like Twilight's element.

[mechmadeoflove]

...do you think she'd have any idea what it is? Or that anyone would? This came with it, hang on...

[He reaches back into his pocket and pulls out a necklace, made of silver chain and with an anchor-shaped pendant. The chain wraps around a very small ruby heart.]

This and the crown were in my things. They aren't mine. The knife, my coat and the rat bars were. These, not so much.

[sailorlaughter]

She might. I don't, but Twilight's super smart, AND she's got all the books in the library! If anypony would know, it'd probably be one of them!

[mechmadeoflove]

Guess I'll have to... wait, one of them?

[He blinks.] What do you mean one of them?

[sailorlaughter]

Alicorn Twilight is living in the library, and Unicorn Twilight is out on the commune now. You can go talk to either one of them, they both like researching!

[mechmadeoflove]

There are two of them? How is that...

That's possible for the same reason I'm a pegasus right now. Ask a silly question. Uh. Library it is then.

Thanks for all your time. And feel free to call Her Paleness Bleachy the White-Nosed Plothole. I know I would.