Badass Freaking Overlord Zetta (
badassfreakingoverlord) wrote in
mylittlejamjar2014-06-30 02:19 pm
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This is it! This is the end of everything! ('Everything' meaning the plot.) [Visual]
Hyaaaa ha ha ha ha!
[Zetta stands atop the High Library Tower of Stalliongrad. Snow blasts diagonally across the field of vision and wind whips even the Overlord's flaming mane and tail as he brandishes a box aggressively at the scroll.]
[His foes had given him a mighty fight in the Library proper, but he'd managed to teleport the box out of reach before they could steal it back from him. Uncharacteristically clever, wasn't it?]
All your efforts are in vain, Equestria! Your best fighters and your most talented... uh, Pinkie Pies... couldn't prevent me from getting my hands on -- THIS!
[With a surge of magic, the Overlord rips the box open, discarding the metal shell to hold up -- a box of heart-shaped snack cakes!!]
HYAAA HA HA HA HA --
[Absolutely silence falls, broken only by the whistling of the wind. It lasts for about half a minute.]
What the hell is this crap?
...Damn. [He lowers his head, tail drooping and ears flattened.] The Princess's dreams were wrong, this entire time, weren't they? If there was ever a Frozen Fire of Friendship, it must have vanished with the windigos, in turn.
I'm not done with you, Equestria. [Sulky, the Overlord turns his back on the scrolls.] You would have lost today, if the artifact had been here. You can't stop me, ponies! Next time, I won't rely on some pony artifact. I'll break you with my own power!
[With a sharp gesture, the Overlord rolls up the scroll.]
[Zetta stands atop the High Library Tower of Stalliongrad. Snow blasts diagonally across the field of vision and wind whips even the Overlord's flaming mane and tail as he brandishes a box aggressively at the scroll.]
[His foes had given him a mighty fight in the Library proper, but he'd managed to teleport the box out of reach before they could steal it back from him. Uncharacteristically clever, wasn't it?]
All your efforts are in vain, Equestria! Your best fighters and your most talented... uh, Pinkie Pies... couldn't prevent me from getting my hands on -- THIS!
[With a surge of magic, the Overlord rips the box open, discarding the metal shell to hold up -- a box of heart-shaped snack cakes!!]
HYAAA HA HA HA HA --
[Absolutely silence falls, broken only by the whistling of the wind. It lasts for about half a minute.]
What the hell is this crap?
...Damn. [He lowers his head, tail drooping and ears flattened.] The Princess's dreams were wrong, this entire time, weren't they? If there was ever a Frozen Fire of Friendship, it must have vanished with the windigos, in turn.
I'm not done with you, Equestria. [Sulky, the Overlord turns his back on the scrolls.] You would have lost today, if the artifact had been here. You can't stop me, ponies! Next time, I won't rely on some pony artifact. I'll break you with my own power!
[With a sharp gesture, the Overlord rolls up the scroll.]
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No on the first, yes on the second. You strike me as the type to hoard impossibly powerful magical artifacts without having any idea how the buck they work or if they are, in fact, a box of prehistoric snack cakes.
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[Her bets are "banished to the sun" or "utterly obliterated".]
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I'm pretty sure the Pale Pony had nothin' to do with it, chief. I mean, that sounds like Important Backstory which means you didn't even know Equestria existed.
[...Also some of Zetta's fourth wall breaking might be mildly contagious while in prolonged discussion with him.]
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I'm just sayin' this sounds less like one of her conspiracies and more like someone else's conspiracy that she ganked. Vulture swooping for a fresh kill, so to speak.
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[Flare's assuming Zetta means the passage that Captain Celestia found mid-battle.]
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[Whereas Zetta isn't even thinking about that annoying show-stealing Stalliongrad verse.]
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Ah. Communication issue. In that case, tell me where your prophecy involves ponies thought to judge over the dead?
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If the Pale Pony was involved, there'd probably be somethin' in there about a "ghostly horse" or "riding to your destiny" or somethin' equally flowery and bullshit.
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If she was just tryin' to depower you, why the hell would she scoop up all the rest of us? I couldn't give two bucks about your Netherworld politics, so what good is it draggin' me into this mess if it's just that?
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Unless she's a complete ass-over-teakettle idiot, I mean.
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Your argument works the other way, too. If she could have just wiped me out, why didn't she?
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[Zetta, she's seen enough of you on the scrolls to at least know how your ego works, even if she seems mildly disturbed by the words she's forcing out of her mouth.]
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