CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nvcr) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mylittlejamjar2014-08-30 09:34 pm
nvcr) wrote in mylittlejamjar2014-08-30 09:34 pm
Community Calendar + Summer Tips to Beat the Heat (Radio)
Well everybody, what a month it has been! I can't imagine anything else that can threaten our colorful little realm for a long time. So, without referring to anything else too unknowable and panic-inducing, let's move on to the community calendar.
On Monday, Sugarcube Corner will be announcing their newest creation! What is it? I'm not sure, and I only shudder to think what sugar-fueled alchemy Pinkie Pie is capable of, but if you want to find out, well, make sure you get there early.
From Monday through Wednesday, there will be a beach party! I'm sure it'll be a blast for everyone involved, and we might even run into a few surprises! Completely pleasant and non-apocalyptic surprises, of course, I mean, what else is there? So, to prepare everyone for an evening full of sand and ceaseless festivities, I think I'd like to share some summer tips to beat the heat.
Always remember to keep yourself hydrated. Water makes up more than two thirds of your body, and if enough water is allowed to dissipate into the stagnant air, then two thirds of you might not exist.
Wouldn't that be unnecessary. And avoidable.
Stand up tall. Make yourself bigger than the heat. Most heat waves will take this as a sign of aggression and run back to the Everfree, but if you ever find yourself cornered by a wild heat wave, try playing dead. This should buy you enough time for the heat wave to pass and find other unsuspecting victims, leaving you, hopefully, very much not actually dead.
W̜͈͍̗͖̳̰͆ͯͨͬ̕͜͡e̢̨̩̞̺̭̼͚̱̫̙̤̲͖͂̂ͮ̾̊ͨͣ̈́ͯ̊̕ h̡̨̞͍̥̬͇̘̝̹̗̟̖̮͖̩̗̭̣̤͖ͦͧͥͥ̓̿̓̏̑ͫ͊ͫ̅͋̀ͨ̇͟o̸͓͚̤̫ͯ̒ͩ̾̎̽ͣ̐͊̍ͤͨ͘p̵̨̡̙̦͚̜̫̞̼̫͔̖͈̝͉̰͋̈́ͭ̄͑̄̑͢ȩ͈̮̣̣̫͕͔̬̰̰̬̹̺͎͋͗̎͐ͤͣ͑͢-̸͎͙̝̳͓̼͉͙̰̻͗͒ͧ̓̇̀͂ͥ̽̑̍̌́ͅ
DISTINGUISHED GUESTS OF THE PALE ONE, HEAR THIS:
SHE IS CONTENT FOR THIS INSTANT. BUT SHE WILL NOT BE FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. YOU CANNOT SEE HER KNOW, BUT KNOW THAT LIKE DISTANT, FADING STARS IN THE VOID OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE, SHE IS ALWAYS WATCHING. ALWAYS PRESENT. ALWAYS PLOTTING.
S̸̜̲̺̗̓̀H̼͕͎͕̣̦̜̗ͬ͢E̖̟͚͇͖̳̠̩̽̿̊́͆͗̿͢͜ ̈̄̾̾̾̽҉͙͕̟̻͕͎E̜̐ͥ̓̇̇X̵̦̞ͤ̽̅̈̈́̐T̃ͦ̄̑̐̿ͫ́̏҉̤͘ͅE͖͕͓̦̗͙̲̘ͯ͛̑ͤ͒́̆ͅŅ̶̷͔̞̯̪̆ͮͥ̊ͥ̊̿D̖͌ͫ͂ͫ͝͝ͅS̴̭ͤͦͨ̓ ̧̘̜͚̠̇̏ͯͪͬ̾͡H̸̬̜ͣ͝Ę̴̝̮̮̟͈̰̩̇̌̂ͭ̕ͅR̷̳̗̝͉͈͙̣̅ͭ̃̓̑͋̑ͫ͝ ̄̒̓ͤͩͬ҉̜̜͙̞͇̯͝C̨͙ͪͬ̏̄̈́͟͠O͆ͦ̈́͗̎́͘͏̶͇̥͖L̥͔͚̍̽̽̾̉̓̍̀́͝D̸̡̢̙̩̄̈ͮ̈̀ͨ͛ ̸̧͍̻͖̺̉ͩͯͩ̒̿ͧ̀̚A̳̦̰͑̅̌́̉ͣN̯̩̖̳͖̥̐͋ͭ̈̈́̀͢ͅD̛͕̦͎̞̪̝̣̥̊ͥ̑̊̀̉͢ ̷͖̘͙̘̬͍̳ͭ̄͋̿͟͠L͇͂ͪ̀ͥ̑ͩ̈̒̈́͢Ō͓̰̞̺ͯ̿ͪV̡̻̮̙̖̪̓͑̑ͩͭ́ͮ̐̀͡I͙̭͋͊́N̗̱̤̝̘͙̜͍͈͊̉̀G̭̹̜̫ͦ̈́̓ ̟̟̦͈͓̯̊͋ͦ͆͛̍ͅͅȆ̂́̓ͤͦ͏̻̣̠̘̱̣́̕M̧̳̞̟͍ͮͪ͆͞ͅB͉̦̮̰̗̅͐̾ͮͨ͟R̢̲̔͊͋́͊̍͛̏A̸͍̫̗̙̠̳̮̝̍́͜C̨̺̻̞͎̯̰̘̽ͩ̂͋̓́ͦ̚E̺͍̤̬͉̬ͤ̓͛ͩ̋̄̚ ̷̥͙̎͂̃̉̋̈̔́̚T̶̸̢̗͈͙̺̼̜̈́̋O̷͈͖̗̪͕͇͍̗ͫ̍ͧ̑̑͛̿̀ ̮̲͉͉̠̻̰ͬͣ͋A͓̼̟̺̫͗̍̐ͧ͘͞L̷͍̬͚̓̌̂L̺̭͖͓̳͙̀̉̆̃ͭ͌͆ ͐ͤͨ́҉͚͍̥̼N̙̝̱ͫ͆̎͠E̫͔͔͇̫̪ͩ͒͒̓ͅW̡̡̳͖̫͉͔͇̲̜̆ͥ́ͭͮ̅ͦC̩̤̦̋͑̾̽͛͗͞O̲̦̺̹ͭ̍͒͊̅ͯ̿́͜͢M̫͉̪̥͚̦̥̫̤͒͆͗̈́́̏͜͢͠E͙͉̎̓̋̋̈́ͫ͗͡͝Ṟ̸̲̮̫͎̖̄ͫ͑̿͝Š͕͡ ͆ͧͧ͌̇҉̹̜͍̬͜ͅÏͧͪ͂ͩͮ̆҉̬̲͡N̷̴̳̠͉̺͖̥̹̱̲ͬ͗̇ͩͬ ̟̟̟̯̭͍̯͋́̑̉̍̈͒̒H̵̙̟̗̎̈ͨ̐̈͌ͦE̼̞̩̦̘̩̓ͥ̄̚R̡͓͉̮̹̖̾ͦ ̺̖͖̯̝̎ͣͧͧ̊̉̏͑D̛͚̎̄ͮ̌͊͆̀̉͢O̶̙̭̽͆̒̓ͫ̅͛̂M̴͈̘̦͉̫ͭͫ̓̉ͥ̌Å̜͙̍̿ͫ̾ͨ̂͘I̷͉̣̮ͥͨ̆ͧ̋̍͂̆N̸̫̪̦͙͎͉̗̋͛ͦ̉ͬ̂́̀̚.̨̧͓̹͚͔͖̰̣ͩ̃̉ͮ͐͆̄
͙̜̰̉̑ͮ̓̔̒̉
DO NOT QUESTION HER METHODS. DO NOT RESIST. DO NOT DOUBT HER WISDOM AS SHE CONTINUES HER QUESTS FOR THE GREATEST TRUTHS HELD BY EXISTENCE.
YOU MAY HAVE YOUR BEACH PARTY AND YOUR MERRIMENT. BUT KNOW THAT THE PALE ONE CANNOT BE IGNORED, AND P͔̙̝̪͙̳̤̳̘͚̪̰̪̝̮͉̭͆ͨ͐̄̀͘͝R̘͈͉͙̻̱̠̹̱̼̖̝͉̯̭̃ͧͪͫ̾̓̆̄ͨ̀̓ͩ͜Ȩ̵̴͚̱̜͚͍̂ͣ͒̒̏̃ͧ̄́͜͡P̷̨͍͇̺̹͙̝̝̎͆̽͐̍͘͡A̡͍͖͕͎͉͔̙̺̳̞̭̘̐̂ͦ̀̿͟͠͞ͅR̴ͩͭͮ̾̆̒̎̄̋̍͆́̓͐́̔̊̈̔́҉̮͓͉̺̟̥̲̩̩͎̤̖̲̟̻E̸̳̼̞͎̳̲̩̪͖̹͙͙̥͈̊̎́͌̈̎̿̊̾̀̏̊ͣͤ̔̚͠͞ͅ FOR HER INEVITABLE RETURN.
GOODNIGHT, BELOVED GUESTS.
Ġ͉̦͔̲̣ͮͬͧͦ̄̀ͮ͂̈́̑́͞Ö͕̘́͊ͪ͒͑ͥ̑̋̓͢ͅÕ͋̈́ͬ͌̏̐ͮ̚͠͠҉̶͈̩͍̗D̶̛͙͇̗͓̙̪̠̖̭ͪ͌ͨ̅ͫ̒̍̌̈́ͮ͒ͭ̉̒̆̍̃̽͢͜Ń͇̤͖͚̳͓ͭ̄̔͗́͢I̴̵̴͗̾̃ͭͦ͋͛̎̈́̑ͮ͟͏̳̩̩͓̲̗̻̩͈̬͖̩̪̟̹͔̞͍G̸̢̬̥̟̦̩͎̺͖̯̯̤̜̠͎̞̅ͪ͌͒͟H̭͍̭̰̐ͨ̈́ͬ͂̐͆̈ͧͣ͗ͯ́͟͞͡T̶̸̛̥̦̰̩̯̰̞͈̮͚̠͚̮̘̯̈́͐͊͑͑ͩ̽̄ͬ̔̾ͦ́́ͩ͛͐̓ͅ.̲̳̯͕̫͇̺ͯ̀͐̈́ͨ̆ͬ̌ͤ́
On Monday, Sugarcube Corner will be announcing their newest creation! What is it? I'm not sure, and I only shudder to think what sugar-fueled alchemy Pinkie Pie is capable of, but if you want to find out, well, make sure you get there early.
From Monday through Wednesday, there will be a beach party! I'm sure it'll be a blast for everyone involved, and we might even run into a few surprises! Completely pleasant and non-apocalyptic surprises, of course, I mean, what else is there? So, to prepare everyone for an evening full of sand and ceaseless festivities, I think I'd like to share some summer tips to beat the heat.
Always remember to keep yourself hydrated. Water makes up more than two thirds of your body, and if enough water is allowed to dissipate into the stagnant air, then two thirds of you might not exist.
Wouldn't that be unnecessary. And avoidable.
Stand up tall. Make yourself bigger than the heat. Most heat waves will take this as a sign of aggression and run back to the Everfree, but if you ever find yourself cornered by a wild heat wave, try playing dead. This should buy you enough time for the heat wave to pass and find other unsuspecting victims, leaving you, hopefully, very much not actually dead.
W̜͈͍̗͖̳̰͆ͯͨͬ̕͜͡e̢̨̩̞̺̭̼͚̱̫̙̤̲͖͂̂ͮ̾̊ͨͣ̈́ͯ̊̕ h̡̨̞͍̥̬͇̘̝̹̗̟̖̮͖̩̗̭̣̤͖ͦͧͥͥ̓̿̓̏̑ͫ͊ͫ̅͋̀ͨ̇͟o̸͓͚̤̫ͯ̒ͩ̾̎̽ͣ̐͊̍ͤͨ͘p̵̨̡̙̦͚̜̫̞̼̫͔̖͈̝͉̰͋̈́ͭ̄͑̄̑͢ȩ͈̮̣̣̫͕͔̬̰̰̬̹̺͎͋͗̎͐ͤͣ͑͢-̸͎͙̝̳͓̼͉͙̰̻͗͒ͧ̓̇̀͂ͥ̽̑̍̌́ͅ
DISTINGUISHED GUESTS OF THE PALE ONE, HEAR THIS:
SHE IS CONTENT FOR THIS INSTANT. BUT SHE WILL NOT BE FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. YOU CANNOT SEE HER KNOW, BUT KNOW THAT LIKE DISTANT, FADING STARS IN THE VOID OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE, SHE IS ALWAYS WATCHING. ALWAYS PRESENT. ALWAYS PLOTTING.
S̸̜̲̺̗̓̀H̼͕͎͕̣̦̜̗ͬ͢E̖̟͚͇͖̳̠̩̽̿̊́͆͗̿͢͜ ̈̄̾̾̾̽҉͙͕̟̻͕͎E̜̐ͥ̓̇̇X̵̦̞ͤ̽̅̈̈́̐T̃ͦ̄̑̐̿ͫ́̏҉̤͘ͅE͖͕͓̦̗͙̲̘ͯ͛̑ͤ͒́̆ͅŅ̶̷͔̞̯̪̆ͮͥ̊ͥ̊̿D̖͌ͫ͂ͫ͝͝ͅS̴̭ͤͦͨ̓ ̧̘̜͚̠̇̏ͯͪͬ̾͡H̸̬̜ͣ͝Ę̴̝̮̮̟͈̰̩̇̌̂ͭ̕ͅR̷̳̗̝͉͈͙̣̅ͭ̃̓̑͋̑ͫ͝ ̄̒̓ͤͩͬ҉̜̜͙̞͇̯͝C̨͙ͪͬ̏̄̈́͟͠O͆ͦ̈́͗̎́͘͏̶͇̥͖L̥͔͚̍̽̽̾̉̓̍̀́͝D̸̡̢̙̩̄̈ͮ̈̀ͨ͛ ̸̧͍̻͖̺̉ͩͯͩ̒̿ͧ̀̚A̳̦̰͑̅̌́̉ͣN̯̩̖̳͖̥̐͋ͭ̈̈́̀͢ͅD̛͕̦͎̞̪̝̣̥̊ͥ̑̊̀̉͢ ̷͖̘͙̘̬͍̳ͭ̄͋̿͟͠L͇͂ͪ̀ͥ̑ͩ̈̒̈́͢Ō͓̰̞̺ͯ̿ͪV̡̻̮̙̖̪̓͑̑ͩͭ́ͮ̐̀͡I͙̭͋͊́N̗̱̤̝̘͙̜͍͈͊̉̀G̭̹̜̫ͦ̈́̓ ̟̟̦͈͓̯̊͋ͦ͆͛̍ͅͅȆ̂́̓ͤͦ͏̻̣̠̘̱̣́̕M̧̳̞̟͍ͮͪ͆͞ͅB͉̦̮̰̗̅͐̾ͮͨ͟R̢̲̔͊͋́͊̍͛̏A̸͍̫̗̙̠̳̮̝̍́͜C̨̺̻̞͎̯̰̘̽ͩ̂͋̓́ͦ̚E̺͍̤̬͉̬ͤ̓͛ͩ̋̄̚ ̷̥͙̎͂̃̉̋̈̔́̚T̶̸̢̗͈͙̺̼̜̈́̋O̷͈͖̗̪͕͇͍̗ͫ̍ͧ̑̑͛̿̀ ̮̲͉͉̠̻̰ͬͣ͋A͓̼̟̺̫͗̍̐ͧ͘͞L̷͍̬͚̓̌̂L̺̭͖͓̳͙̀̉̆̃ͭ͌͆ ͐ͤͨ́҉͚͍̥̼N̙̝̱ͫ͆̎͠E̫͔͔͇̫̪ͩ͒͒̓ͅW̡̡̳͖̫͉͔͇̲̜̆ͥ́ͭͮ̅ͦC̩̤̦̋͑̾̽͛͗͞O̲̦̺̹ͭ̍͒͊̅ͯ̿́͜͢M̫͉̪̥͚̦̥̫̤͒͆͗̈́́̏͜͢͠E͙͉̎̓̋̋̈́ͫ͗͡͝Ṟ̸̲̮̫͎̖̄ͫ͑̿͝Š͕͡ ͆ͧͧ͌̇҉̹̜͍̬͜ͅÏͧͪ͂ͩͮ̆҉̬̲͡N̷̴̳̠͉̺͖̥̹̱̲ͬ͗̇ͩͬ ̟̟̟̯̭͍̯͋́̑̉̍̈͒̒H̵̙̟̗̎̈ͨ̐̈͌ͦE̼̞̩̦̘̩̓ͥ̄̚R̡͓͉̮̹̖̾ͦ ̺̖͖̯̝̎ͣͧͧ̊̉̏͑D̛͚̎̄ͮ̌͊͆̀̉͢O̶̙̭̽͆̒̓ͫ̅͛̂M̴͈̘̦͉̫ͭͫ̓̉ͥ̌Å̜͙̍̿ͫ̾ͨ̂͘I̷͉̣̮ͥͨ̆ͧ̋̍͂̆N̸̫̪̦͙͎͉̗̋͛ͦ̉ͬ̂́̀̚.̨̧͓̹͚͔͖̰̣ͩ̃̉ͮ͐͆̄
͙̜̰̉̑ͮ̓̔̒̉
DO NOT QUESTION HER METHODS. DO NOT RESIST. DO NOT DOUBT HER WISDOM AS SHE CONTINUES HER QUESTS FOR THE GREATEST TRUTHS HELD BY EXISTENCE.
YOU MAY HAVE YOUR BEACH PARTY AND YOUR MERRIMENT. BUT KNOW THAT THE PALE ONE CANNOT BE IGNORED, AND P͔̙̝̪͙̳̤̳̘͚̪̰̪̝̮͉̭͆ͨ͐̄̀͘͝R̘͈͉͙̻̱̠̹̱̼̖̝͉̯̭̃ͧͪͫ̾̓̆̄ͨ̀̓ͩ͜Ȩ̵̴͚̱̜͚͍̂ͣ͒̒̏̃ͧ̄́͜͡P̷̨͍͇̺̹͙̝̝̎͆̽͐̍͘͡A̡͍͖͕͎͉͔̙̺̳̞̭̘̐̂ͦ̀̿͟͠͞ͅR̴ͩͭͮ̾̆̒̎̄̋̍͆́̓͐́̔̊̈̔́҉̮͓͉̺̟̥̲̩̩͎̤̖̲̟̻E̸̳̼̞͎̳̲̩̪͖̹͙͙̥͈̊̎́͌̈̎̿̊̾̀̏̊ͣͤ̔̚͠͞ͅ FOR HER INEVITABLE RETURN.
GOODNIGHT, BELOVED GUESTS.
Ġ͉̦͔̲̣ͮͬͧͦ̄̀ͮ͂̈́̑́͞Ö͕̘́͊ͪ͒͑ͥ̑̋̓͢ͅÕ͋̈́ͬ͌̏̐ͮ̚͠͠҉̶͈̩͍̗D̶̛͙͇̗͓̙̪̠̖̭ͪ͌ͨ̅ͫ̒̍̌̈́ͮ͒ͭ̉̒̆̍̃̽͢͜Ń͇̤͖͚̳͓ͭ̄̔͗́͢I̴̵̴͗̾̃ͭͦ͋͛̎̈́̑ͮ͟͏̳̩̩͓̲̗̻̩͈̬͖̩̪̟̹͔̞͍G̸̢̬̥̟̦̩͎̺͖̯̯̤̜̠͎̞̅ͪ͌͒͟H̭͍̭̰̐ͨ̈́ͬ͂̐͆̈ͧͣ͗ͯ́͟͞͡T̶̸̛̥̦̰̩̯̰̞͈̮͚̠͚̮̘̯̈́͐͊͑͑ͩ̽̄ͬ̔̾ͦ́́ͩ͛͐̓ͅ.̲̳̯͕̫͇̺ͯ̀͐̈́ͨ̆ͬ̌ͤ́
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Although there was the Glow Cloud incident back home--ALL HAIL, ALL PRAISE--not to mention my coverage of that new woman who'd arrived in town...
Apparently I'm just susceptible to this kinda thing?
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Doctors are known for that too, but let's not get into that.
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[Truths not meant to be discovered? That doesn't even make sense.] I usually find that forbidden knowledge leads to life-altering revelations, but most of the suffering is for the people who wanted to keep it forbidden.