HOOVESWEEK 6

[ponymeisters]

[Morning, Equestrians! It’s that time again, and the newsponies have a new, fresh stock of Equestria's most-read magazine!]




Princess Celestia's darkest secrets are revealed under the veil of the scrolls! She was in fact corrupted like Nightmare Moon this entire time!? She and the legendary Star Swirl were on intimate terms!? And then she might have tried to murder him after he refused to support her!? And why not tell the populace instead of just the newcomer ponies!?

Well, maybe the dragon she's now dating - maybe all of us should watch out! After all, as the saying goes, "with friends like these"...

Other Top Stories Include:

Title: The REAL Truth About Princess Celestia
by Anonymouse

Title: The Griffaltar Goof
by Roberts Robin

Title: Equestria's Sleeping Scourge
by Eggs Benedict

Title: Good Morning, Night Market
by Tom Bronco


BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE:

-Our Essay Contest winners are announced! The five grand prize essays are in this current issue, and they include writings about why cats don't like ponies, how 'humans' stole from ponies, and the lengths some off-worlders will go to incite violence in the pony population.
-A further look at the deteriorating conditions in Griffaltar. The drought may be over, but the heat in the Roc - the country's seat of government - is on. Protests and calls for free elections now threaten the current council's position as a result of mishandling, and one must wonder if this bodes well for our own rulers.
-A photo gallery of some of the strange species that appeared over the course of a week. Why were they here and where did they go?
-A report on the auction of the year, and some of the surprising treasures our reporters bought from it.
-The official confirmation of Tom Shanks' now-very timely movie, now known to be about Princess Celestia's youth.
-A retrospective about the Grand Galloping Gala, and some of its best and worst fashions.
-A review of Manehattan's newest and hottest eatery, a gastropub called The Hoof and Flowers! Everypony from across Equestria who is anypony will be knocking down the doors to this place, according to the famous food expert who ate there, and a franchise to spread the word would be a great idea.

So come one, come all, and read HOOVESWEEK! Only 5 bits a copy - now and forever!

((OOC: For those three winners among the playerbase, they recieved their copy of Hoovesweek the night before the issue hit stands, as well as a Hoovesweek badge card good for the day of April 28. Obviously, they will notice that their essays are...a bit different than what they remember writing. Ah, the joys of editing!

Also, as usual, feel free to react, or comment on those stories, or even make up seeing others in this issue!

Original picture credit is here.))

Comments

[superstylishsquid]

He's some demon overlord living in the castle who's way too full of himself and thinks he's an abominable villain. The worst I've actually seen him do is try to ruin Christmas and back out halfway through, though.

[sumofallreds]

Hmph. Sounds like a handful.

.......What exactly is Christmas?

[superstylishsquid]

It's a holiday in the middle of winter. Well, they call it Hearth's Warming here, but it's on the same day and has similar traditions.

Here it's a celebration of the founding of Equestria on the ideas of tolerance and teamwork between species.

[sumofallreds]

Huh. Surprised it hasn't come up at any real point for me yet.

[superstylishsquid]

Hang around in Movieland, you'll find enough Christmas specials to more than make up for lost time.

[sumofallreds]

I wonder if there's a reel for that then? I gotta catch up on the other me's exploits.

[superstylishsquid]

Who knows. We can't get into the dungeon right now, so it might be a while until we can find out.

[sumofallreds]

Unless Ako or your little human examiner have it already.

Though there is that mishmash monster running around like a bandit.

[superstylishsquid]

It's worth asking. And he hasn't come after anything in my stash of ordinary objects from down there, so we might be safe on that front.

[sumofallreds]

He busted my chest pretty good trying to break into it. Never knew it had that kind of security before...

[superstylishsquid]

Sounds like he's been biting off more than he can chew a lot.

[sumofallreds]

He's gonna have every body riled up enough to hang him by whatever animal's testicles he has.

[superstylishsquid]

Did you see he even tried to take my sword?

[sumofallreds]

...So basically he tried to kidnap YOU. HAHAHA! I hope you cut him up good.

[superstylishsquid]

I fried him for it. And he found out the hard way that even if you do get it off me, I can call it back whenever I want.

[sumofallreds]

And give a nice zappy surprise in return.

[superstylishsquid]

He also tried to take the V-watch but I don't think it liked that. But I guess an alarm clock is close enough, right?

[sumofallreds]

It was certainly time for him to wake up.

[superstylishsquid]

I just hope he's learned better, it could get repetitive if he keeps trying.

[sumofallreds]

I've got plans if he shows up at my place again. I don't care HOW sneaky he is.

[superstylishsquid]

Now I'm almost hoping he tries again.

[sumofallreds]

Same here. Think we can lure him?

[superstylishsquid]

Hmmm...maybe leave a bunch of magic stuff just lying around?

[sumofallreds]

Some Ranger keys and such should do it.

[superstylishsquid]

Want some help? I could hide out in my sword form if he hasn't learned his lesson about that.