Hyaaa ha ha ha! Tremble in terror, Equestria! I, the almighty Overlord Zetta, the most badass freaking Overlord in the entire cosmos, have kidnapped one of your own! Even as I speak, your most skilled fashion designer is my prisoner! Let the terror sink in as you realize that Rarity is at my mercy, subject to the full evil of the Overlord--

Zetta, do come look at these magnificent designs I've drawn up to modernize this dreadful castle.

What-- I'm BUSY AT THE MOMENT!

Now now, fashion waits for nopony!

LATER! [The Overlord clears his throat.] Erm. Right, um... TREMBLE WITH FEAR, knowing that Rarity will remain my prisoner forever--

AND SO WILL I!

YOU'RE NOT MY PRISONER! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!

Because you kidnapped me! Remember?

NO! I did NOT! YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE!

You see? Here I am in his castle! Such evil he's doing to me! HE LOVES DOING EVIL! HE LOVES TORTURING ME!

That's it! You're going in the closet!

No, Zetta! Don't put her in the closet! She'll rumple the linen!

[The angry stomping of hooves precedes the sound of a door opening.]

AWW! You FOUND me!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET?!

I WAS hiding. But now I'm it and it's your turn to hide!

YOU GET OUT OF THERE! YOU GET IN THERE!

Hey! She can't hide in there! I already KNOW she's there!

Why not simply forget, Pinkie? Then it will be like finding her all over again.

GREAT IDEA!

This isn't a ga-- oh holy crap, is this thing still on?!

[The scroll audio cuts off for a minute. When it comes back on, it's a moment of furtive if audible silence, then the Overlord clears his throat again.]

If you want your precious Rarity back, you'll have to brave the depths of the Everfree Forest, battle my minion army, and then withstand the full wrath of an Overlo--

[A sharp WHAM, the noise of a door violently hitting the wall, precedes a familiar voice.]

I FOUND YOOOOOOU! He was up in the TOWER, girls!

Really, I don't know how he stands it. That tower simply cries out for curtains.

Tell them about the EVIL you're doing to me!

[The Overlord's strangled cry of agony is mercifully cut off by the scroll deactivating.]

[Hello, Ponyville scroll network. Are you lacking cats right now? Because you're now being contacted by a very small, very cute, very fluffy cat with a little collar studded with dog and cat teeth. Awwww.]

Alright, will someone explain to me what's going on? This isn't- this isn't where I'm supposed to be, this isn't what happens when cats die! [He hisses, his tail lashing and his claws prominently bared.] Some horse just tried to trample me, you know! And what are these pieces of... whatever... even supposed to do?

Whatever, some cat get me Bone already. I need to discuss something with him. And while you're waiting you can all get me something to eat. And quick, before I rip your useless flea-bitten horse fur off with my bare claws. Have I made myself clear enough yet?

[Sometime after the ponies wake up, scrolls and quills suddenly start raining from the sky. Don't worry, its not the ponypocalypse, its just a squadron of flying white ponies dropping them from above.

Once everyone receives one, the scrolls suddenly glow and come to life, its surface revealing the visage of a large white alicorn with rainbow hair and a golden crown, sitting on a large, velvet-upholstered throne. She has a calm, reassuring, regal smile on her face as she speaks, though those who know her better can see the light of worry and concern in her eyes.]

Good afternoon, newponies! I am Princess Celestia.

I've heard of your arrival in Ponyville and of some of the more interesting stories that have come from it. We're...not certain how this phenomenon has occurred, but we here at the royal castle will put our efforts into solving this mystery, and I hope you will help us out as we wish to help you out!

Rest assured, no harm will come to you. Nor, as some of you have worried, are we holding you against your will. On the contrary, you're free to move about Equestria as you please, be it through Ponyville, Los Pegasus or anywhere in between. I only request that you use the scrolls we have provided you to check in from time to time, so that we know where you might be when we figure out the solution to this current situation.

If you have any questions, you are free to ask them of me. If I am not available - and, I will admit, there are times when I can be quite busy - there are many other ponies willing to help you, including the other princesses of Equestria. We are all in this together, after all.

[And then she smiles a little more. Its a much more relaxed smile. The concern is still there, of course.]

But, in the meantime, I'd also like to get to know all of you! I always like to meet new people, after all. I hear we even have a dragon?