[After being conspiciously absent from Ponyville for most of September, Wind Whistler's face suddenly appears on everyone's scroll, looking much the same as she always did except for the red, heart-shaped locket that is now around her neck.]

Greetings! I must apologize for my abrupt vanishment of a few weeks prior! Through the usual uncanny means, I was translated back to Dream Valley where they claimed I had only been gone a few days. The time dilation between worlds is truly fascinating. I hope that I have not being absent from Equestria for as many months as days that I was gone.

Theo, Sleipnir, Gilgamesh, I hope that you are viewing this. I thought of you often while I was gone.

Princess Celestia, I believe I told you once before of a certain artifact which exists in Ponyland that has helped we ponies of Dream Valley out of innumerable circumstance--and how when Megan did not bear it I did. When I was returned to Equestria, that artifact was in my keeping and I wear it now. If there is any way to direct it in order to deal with Equestria's current troubles, please let me know.

[It had taken almost the entire day for "Dream Weaver" to calm herself down after almost not only blurting out her true identity, but ranting at length about how she still envied Celestia. As it stood, she took several attempts at writing this message on plain, non-magical scrolls, finding it was affecting her ability to write, as well. Whatever was going on, it was not only making lying impossible, but the act of omitting the truth was incredibly difficult as well...both in word and in writing. Regardless, she manages to finally get something written that she can actually get on a plain scroll.

The writing looks shaky and unconfident utterly by accident, but at least that's a blessing in disguise - nopony would mistake it for the normally elegant script that Princess Luna uses.]

Dearest Wind Whistler,

We I have learned that you hold Mister Hamato in less contempt than the others at the location where he is staying. As of such, I must ask of you a favor.

I have been afflicted with something that compromises my position here as the supervising officer of Mister Hamato. I will be able to remain here and keep watch over him during the night, but I am incapable of interacting with the other ponies at the commune because I can't seem to stop talking due to some magical geas I cannot shake. I assure you, Mister Hamato is not at fault, and when I do learn of the culprit, they will be punished severely.

However, this affliction leaves me unable to supervise Mister Hamato during the daytime because my magic is weaker during the da-- as I must remain isolated from others, so I require someone to act in my stead until I have recovered. The task is simple - he is to perform the labor that the commune agrees upon without complaint, as the least he can do after his acts is take Nemo's place in the workforce. He is allowed to speak with others if they approach him, but is not allowed to engage in conversation on his own while working... not yet, at least. In addition, any conversation should be ceased if things start to edge towards 'uncontrollably hostile' by either party.

After his work is done, he is to return to our quarters, where I will be able to supervise him.

I apologize for the request but I feel you are the only one I can turn to.

Thank you for your time,
Pri P L Dream Weaver

P.S. I feel it will be safe to explain the situation in more detail if you come and speak with me in private, though I fear that whatever has caused my ailment may affect the whole town.

[The name in particular is particularly illegible - it's hard to make a 'Dre' out of the letters 'Lun', and it's clearly the shakiest part of the letter.

Instead of trying to copy her words once more to the magical scrolls, Luna instead slips out under the cover of night to leave the plain scroll tucked in the front door, sealed and with Wind Whistler's name upon it. Hopefully the pegasus will understand the severity of the situation and she will be able to keep from asking too many questions about the issue.]

"SWEET ARCEUS YOU HAVE TO LISTEN."

The words - spoken with a forcefulness that is somewhat like the aural equivalent of a crowbar to the kneecap - are out before the picture on the scroll has even finished resolving into the highly excited face of Mako, the pink pony's voluminous mane frazzled and unkempt, a manic grin splitting her muzzle.

"Alright so I was collating my field notes at the library because hey, library, seat of learning, peace and quiet and all that jazz and then I found this amazing book - well, I say 'found' but really what actually happened is that Etranger found it and thought I would like it - she's such a little darling and I am completely proud of her - and it was an animal encyclopedia and so here is the thing: PONIES. ARE. MAMMALS. Alright? ARE YOU LISTENING? It's like, sweet Mew, I have been a mammal all this time and didn't even know it, do you even KNOW what kind of discovery this is?!"

Mako leans closer to the scroll, her eyes wide and staring.

"This is the kind of discovery that entire careers are built on. If I write just ONE PAPER on this, I will never have to work again in my life and I will still be the top of the scientific community. Do you understand? Humans are not bizarre freaks of nature, they're members of the order Mammalia! THERE IS AN ACTUAL ORDER FOR MAMMALS. Forget knowledge bombs, this is a KNOWLEDGE ANTI-MATTER EXPLOSION. COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF THE ENTIRE KNOWLEDGE UNIVERSE."

...somepony please calm this girl down.

Afternoon, Ponyville! [Today Sleipnir is looking much more bright-eyed than she was a few days ago when she had things exploding in her face. She's still filthy from mane to hoof with grease but at least now she looks happy.] I have a wee announcement for anyone living at the commune or who has friends living there.

I've been doing a bit tinkering and planting of my own around the outskirts of the commune to make it safer in the future. There's nothing dangerous- well, not deadly anyway- but Wind Whistler is still in the process of making a map for anyone at the commune who wants one. Until it's done, be wary of anything that looks like it might explode a little or hold knock-out gas and most of the trees.

I wonder, perhaps, if there is some merit in discussing the phenomenon of rainbows and how it might relate to the situation we have found ourselves in.

We have been informed by Bertie that when Nemo was so cruelly slaughtered that there was an explosion of rainbow light and that he vanished. And I believe this is not the first time that we new ponies have been translated by rainbows either.

In Dream Valley, where I come from, there was a weapon called the Rainbow of Light. And there was another supernatural weapon known as the Rainbow of Darkness, with which the villain Tirac tried to bring about the Night That Never Ends when I was but a filly.

I am a pegasus pony and thus lack a horn to accomplish any sort of spellwork. I do not have a wand like a Princess Pony might. But I am studious and I think that the study of rainbows and their magical properties might do us some good.

[There is a slight pause and Wind Whistler adds, somewhat sheepishly:] Speaking of Princess Ponies, I'm still slightly confused as to why Celestia, Luna, and the local Twilight Sparkle do not wear the ceremonial hennin that signifies their rank. How will one know they are princesses?

[When the scroll flares to life, it shows a disheveled yellow pegasus standing on a roof. There is a strange, twisting horn behind him that's got a bit of red streaking the candy corn colored length. Bertie's eyes are wide and tears look to be threatening to fall at any moment. His ears are back, his wings are pressed tight against him and his body is shaking. He'd meant to contact just Flare Star, but after Nemo had just... just disappeared he wasn't in much of a fit state to be doing anything more complex than practically shouting at the magical device.]

He murdered him. Oh, Celestia! He murdered him!

And-and then he turned into rainbows! Please. I don't know what to do. Nemo disappeared. He's gone!

You know, I was prepared for a lot of things when the Doom Bell rang. Existential despair, yes. Turning into a horse? Not so much.

[The young mare whose face appears on the scroll is new and anyone familiar with European accents will notice a heavy Irish brogue to her voice.]

I feel like I've stepped right into one of Theo's Heterodyne stories. [She sighs before focusing her attention on the scroll and speaking more directly. One of her ears flicks.] Ah, hello. I'm Sleipnir O'Hara and first and foremost, I'd like to ask if anypony has met a Theopholous DuMedd, a Gilgamesh Wulfenbach or an Agatha Heterodyne?

And secondly, is there anywhere I could get a stiff drink? I feel like I need it. [She pauses, ginger-colored tail swishing gently behind her.] Actually, that could solve my Theo problem if he's even here.

[When the scroll opens up it seems to be popping up mid-conversation. Surprise, for once, seems genuinely calm and natural as she speaks, pointing at the open scroll. Standing beside her seems to be a small foal, looking at the scroll with a curiousity that seems to be punctuated by nervousness.]

-See, and then other ponies are going to show up on the scroll!

Do you really think they can help?

Sure! I mean at least some of them will!

[She doesn't really have any way to be sure that anyone over the network can help like she seems to be promising the kid, but Surprise doesn't seem to let that stop. She starts to address the scroll and those watching.]

So hey! I was in the market today and unless they're having some special on kids, the little foal here lost his mom! So I was thinking that since there's so many more of us spread over town and able to talk because of this thing, maybe you could help us find her! You know! Just a suggestion!

[Okay now her usual nervousness is breaking in a bit. Someone help her with this. Help her actively find the kids mom or help keep him calm and entertained by talking because she is only good with kids on a personal level for so long.

As for the foal himself, he's decided that the paper isn't necessarily as interesting as the mare was making it out to be. Sure it's fun watching a full grown pony talk to a scroll, but he was expecting an immediate response, or like a million voices or something, to speak up at the same time. At the moment, he's fairly bored by it and turns back to Surprise.]

Could you juggle again?

Uh, you know, it's just that its not that interesting! I mean you've seen me juggle once and that's kind of enough, you know? Why don't I buy you a carrot and we can wait for-

[Surprise's words die off in a slow trickle as she sees the look on the foal's face. It's a pathetic look, the kind so great and deep that only children can manage it and only when they really want something. Pathetic and begging to get what they want, to be entertained.

Surprise had seen that look before, and had learned - not to be unmoved by it - but to be unresponsive to it. There's no reason she should be moved by it now. Not over something so little.

But slowly the poker face she puts up gives way, and she sighs.]

Yeah, okay. Help me find the apple stall again for it.

Okay!

[The kid dashes off, trotting someplace else in the market, leaving Surprise wide-eyes and stammering in slight surprise at first.]

Oh hey come on kid! And you wonder how you lost your mom?

[Surprise shoots one last tentative, pleading look at the scroll. Seriously, someone say something to try and distract the kid or come out here and help her.]

[On the scroll appears the face of a young colt with small golden glasses and truly obnoxiously large ears. He's new -- at least, you probably haven't seen him before -- but unlike most newponies he doesn't look confused or annoyed. If anything, he looks pleased.]

I didn't know the Doom Bell did that! Existential despair I was prepared for, but an entire transdimensional shift including severe changes to my own physical makeup was quite beyond what I was expecting. I shouldn't be surprised, though, I told myself when all this started, Theopholous DuMedd, you're in a Heterodyne story, chances are your brain will wind up in a squirrel before it's over. I think I like this far better than a squirrel, though.

[He flicks and swivels his ears, seemingly delighted by the fact that they move.]

And think what a story this will make when I get back.

Presumably that's a possibility.

[His expression lapses into a small frown for a moment, and then he hitches a smile back on.]

I think I may need a drink, though. You know, to settle my newly equine nerves. Is there a bar or inn and if so would one of you be so kind as to direct me to it?

[Sometime after the ponies wake up, scrolls and quills suddenly start raining from the sky. Don't worry, its not the ponypocalypse, its just a squadron of flying white ponies dropping them from above.

Once everyone receives one, the scrolls suddenly glow and come to life, its surface revealing the visage of a large white alicorn with rainbow hair and a golden crown, sitting on a large, velvet-upholstered throne. She has a calm, reassuring, regal smile on her face as she speaks, though those who know her better can see the light of worry and concern in her eyes.]

Good afternoon, newponies! I am Princess Celestia.

I've heard of your arrival in Ponyville and of some of the more interesting stories that have come from it. We're...not certain how this phenomenon has occurred, but we here at the royal castle will put our efforts into solving this mystery, and I hope you will help us out as we wish to help you out!

Rest assured, no harm will come to you. Nor, as some of you have worried, are we holding you against your will. On the contrary, you're free to move about Equestria as you please, be it through Ponyville, Los Pegasus or anywhere in between. I only request that you use the scrolls we have provided you to check in from time to time, so that we know where you might be when we figure out the solution to this current situation.

If you have any questions, you are free to ask them of me. If I am not available - and, I will admit, there are times when I can be quite busy - there are many other ponies willing to help you, including the other princesses of Equestria. We are all in this together, after all.

[And then she smiles a little more. Its a much more relaxed smile. The concern is still there, of course.]

But, in the meantime, I'd also like to get to know all of you! I always like to meet new people, after all. I hear we even have a dragon?