[Bertie knows he's not a fighter by this point. He's invited ponies from the village to come hide in his and Dante's cave, and there's a gaggle of them gathered around, some already gray-eyed and drained of their powers. What one of them has told him is something that needs to be shared, though. And it's something that he wants to take part in. It's already the afternoon and so many ponies are already affected. He's not sure how much longer Tirek's reign of terror will continue.]

Hullo, everypony! Bertie Wooster here. I know we've all been having an awfully rough go of it with that Tirek blighter bobbing about, hoovering up everyone's cutie marks and powers. But I know we're all fighting the good fight, as well. And there are three ponies who should be here with us to do that, powers or not.

I'm going to Tartarus to rescue the princesses. They've been down there for hours now and there are a frightful lot of fiends scurrying about in the place. If this villains escaped from there, I'm more than certain there's got to be a dreadful lot of trouble in Tartarus. Ms. Nana Granate is a pony who sort of... runs it. I think? She'll probably need our help, too.

There's something that she told us the last time Ms. Zecora, Dante, and I managed to get lost down there: The door to Tartarus appears where it's needed.

[He glances off-screen and motions. A pale blue Earth pony with a silver mane leans into the frame of view.]

Mr. Terry Cloth arrived at mine and Dante's cave just half an hour ago. He found the door to Tartarus in his home.

[Terry speaks up.]

Yeah... it's kind of, like, where my bathroom used to be. So, that's awkward.

[Bertie's earnest expression fills the scroll again as the other stallion leans back out.]

He's at 331 Clipclop Drive in Ponyville. I'll be meeting anypony who wants to help there in two hours. It's a lot of time, but we haven't got much before the whole town is drained. Be careful moving there and avoid that villain at all costs!

((OOC: The log post associated with this is located HERE.))

Ugh. Why do I have the oddest feeling I've been dreaming so hard, I don't know what's real anymore?

Also, someone moved me from the bench I was napping on to the hospital. What year is it?

Also if someone answers with "WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW" I will, I dunno what I'll do, but I'm going to be grumpy.

Also I need a gyro, stat.

[The scrolls seem to open at the most inopportune moments, don't they? The feed opens to the back of Blake, talking to someone in front of her who's mostly obscured from view.]

... they're slowly disappearing. I went to check on Yang and...

[A pause. The other person seems to say something.]

We don't have the luxury of time anymore. We have to hurry!

[More muffled talking.]

I've heard of a few other sleeping ponies disappearing as well... we already know Jaune is... and Ruby and Yang... I've also heard that the Tails with the red scarf's disappearing. A few others as well that haven't been named.

[Suddenly, the other figure points to the scrolls, and Blake turns around, scowls at the feed.]

Oh, not again--

[The feed cuts off there.]

...here again, huh.

[There's a very muscular, cotton candy-colored mare on the scrolls who hasn't been around in the past three days--although given her tendency to go off and train for days on end, very few might notice that.]

How long has it been for you guys? A week? A couple of months? Is everyone who was in the Dojo when I left still teaching there?

[...oh no wait]

Did Bertie ever find out what an Attractive Redhead actually was?

...look, I'm sorry for just rainbowing out like that. And for freaking out. More importantly--pretty sure most of you all who know me have met Blackberry and my other Pokemon by now, but I have a new friend I'd like you to meet!

[She takes out a Pokeball from her bag and releases...a very colorful-looking parrot.]

Everyone meet Caro! I met her while Julia and I were visiting my sister in Kalos. She can get a little, uh, nervous, but I'm trying to train her out of that.

It's...odd, I guess. I'd heard about an awful lot about Kalos, and Marla's been there even longer than I have, but you guys won't believe half of the stuff I saw when I was finally there! I'm probably not the only person whose honeymoon almost got hilariously ruined because some billionaire guy tried messing around with an ancient death ray, but at least that was...an experience.

And now that I'm back here after two years, everything just seems new again.

So how's everyone?

[This past week had been very trying on the students of Beacon Academy. Short tempers flared, mistakes were made, ponies may have been frozen… it was altogether not a fun week.]

[But now, the blizzard has died down and the windingoes have been chased away. Tensions may still be high, however, so Ren decides to fix that by inviting everyone over for pancakes and hot chocolate. The powdered kind. Best he could afford and get on such short notice.]

[Of course, the scrolls can’t leave some friends well enough alone, so Ren’s manages to unroll itself and hang over the counter just enough to give a good view of the group sitting around a table in Ren’s room at the commune.]

[The group whiles away the time waiting for the water to boil by talking, catching up and remembering times at Beacon. Somewhere along the line Jaune got up, deciding he might as well spend the time by getting mugs ready.]

Okay, how much does everybody want?

[A chorus of replies follows, with Ruby of course piping up ”Double for me!” and earning a warm laugh from her sister. Conversation picks back up while the mugs are prepared, but it’s Pyrrha who notices Jaune staring thoughtfully at the container.]

Jaune?

I wonder what happens when you try to eat the powder by itself?

[The suggestion is initially met with silence, then mixed replies. Pyrrha, of course, warns him not to but is overshadowed by Yang’s enthusiastic ”Do it!”, Ruby’s bright curiosity, and Ren and Blake’s… silent observation (This is gonna be good).]

[True to form Jaune decides to do it anyway, picking up a generous scoop of the powder and sticks it in his mouth. One… two…]

[He whips his head back and coughs out a huge cloud of powder, which is enough to send ripples of laughter through the group.]

I hope you realize-[Pffft-] -you’re cleaning up the ceiling.

[Jaune would reply, really. Verbally anyway; he manages a nod before another cough, a raised hoof doing absolutely nothing from keeping the powder going everywhere. At least everyone’s still laughing.]

Okay- [Hack, powder spilling.] -Note to self, never aga- [He exhaled a whuff of it and shook his head, at least laughing through the tears.] It’s in my eyes!

[Safe to say the group is completely and absolutely gone. Even Pyrrha’s giggling hard, almost as much as she had at the dance, no matter how much she was trying not to.]

Oh Jaune…

Still the life of the party, as always...

[It’s at this point that Ren, in the midst of a laughing fit, looks over to see the scroll on and broadcasting to the town at large. The realization makes him cover his face to hide the fact he’s laughing even harder now. Everypony just saw that. Even if he could say something, he decides against it. They’ll find out soon enough.]

[OOC: Replies will come from... whoever the heck's not laughing at the moment. Or more than one of them. Or all of them. It's a grab bag, really.]

[It's not long before the film festival that...well, this happens, and so the next day, Nephenee decides that the folks at the Commune might need a reminder about their home's...reputation with Hoovesweek. So, appearing in a jade t-shirt that reads 'Lancing Queen" at the moment, Neph sighs tiredly. She didn't get a lot of sleep thanks to the events.]

Mornin', all.

Um, so...most o'y'all probably heard 'bout the explosion last night. Ah won't say who dun it, and thankfully no one was hurt. But please remember to practice safety at all times.

..An' well, this ain't jus' an announcement that that was a thing.

As most o'ya are aware, Hoovesweek is sponsorin' that "film festival" on the 9th [She might have done 'hoof quotes' at that title, because hush up, Hoovesweek, York did it first.], but...some o'ya may not realize that...well, the Commune's got a bad reputation with Hoovesweek, an' things have happened here in the past that they've always used to attack us with.

Now, if nopony listened to 'em, that wouldn't be a problem. But Ah think some do...an' it's possible this place has a reputation with newponies, too. Rumors spread easy, ya know?

So...for now, Ah ask that any experiments an' such not be done in the main area, for safety reasons, an' o'course, that everypony remembers to practice fire safety. This is a safe place despite what they try to say, but we still gotta do our best to lessen the chance o'accidents. An' if folks ask, that's all this was, an accident, an' that's the truth o'it. Ah want folks to know that, since we're one o'the best ways for folks to get on their feet here.

An' because word's gonna get out 'bout this...please, everypony, be on your best behavior if ya go to the Festival. We're already treadin' on thin ice as it is with Hoovesweek. The last thing we need is them tryin' to rile somethin' up, an' maybe even succeedin'.

...Though Ah wonder. Does anypony know if it'd be possible to gt this place fireproofed magically? Ah think that'd be somethin' worth investin' in, if so.

Anyway, be safe an' warm, everypony.

~~~~~

( Locked to fighters in the Commune, Donna, Andrew, Pollo, Applejack, Arcee, Cirno, Crmsn, Dame Rarity, Dante, Gwen, Hayate, Jou, Lethe, Minato, Morgan, York )

What ho, what ho, Equestrians all! [Here's a bright yellow pegasus doing his best to smile brightly with the season.] Bertram Wooster, here, for all who might not know me. I thought I might put a bee into the proverbial bonnet with all this festive whatsit carrying on. Now, I know we've all got to be frightfully busy around this time of year, but there has to be an hour or two for fun, eh? On the counsel of my dearly adopted sister, young Nephenee, I'd like to propose a day or two of sledding.

Now what we need, though, are actual sleds. Dashed difficult to have some sort of jolly down-hilling without the proper equipment. If anypony has a sled or two to spare... or might be able to build one, I'd love to hear from you. We'll be having hot cocoa and mulled cider for any sledders once it's all set up along with the standard sort of towels and blankets once you're ready to call the day.


( Private to Surprise )

As an addendum to my previous announcement, I have...

[Zetta pauses to heave an immense sigh.]

I have also captured Melissa, queen of the changelings, and one of the Pinkie Pies. Blah blah rot in my dungeon forever something something evil and somebody get these two psychological help, please.

[Hey guys, its Don again, this time in his basement. He is surrounded by very obviously newly-constructed machinery. All from discarded scrap. Huh.

He looks fired up, even under his goggles, as he speaks, rubbing his hooves together.]

Ok guys! I've taken some stuff and I'm tinkering with the idea of making night-resistant plants!

[Holding up corn.]

See, if Zetta's eternal darkness is going to be long-term, we have to find a way to compensate for the lack of sunlight. Plants will die without chlorophyll, which is generated from light. Likewise animals will have difficulty in getting certain essential vitamins.

But, I think I've found ways to ensure that these plants and animals can get what they need!

[At this, he held up a rock with a lichen on it.]

I'm going to try and use my magic to alter and crossbreed the DNA of Ambleartic lichen into some crop seeds! With any luck, this will make the plants able to survive with minimal to no sunlight. I'll also infuse it with vitamin D shots so animals will be able to continue to stay healthy!

[At this, he rubs his hooves again.]

I can do this. Yeah. Yeah!

[He chuckles. Wait, what's in that giant jug behind him? Is that...coffee?]

We'll be all right, everypony!

I know it's been a busy month with the dungeon crawling and everyone turning into Pokemon in the past couple of weeks, y'know, on top of the whole Pale Pony business. But I also understand that not everyone here can fight, which is a pretty useful skill to have given how ridiculous things have been getting here.

[The scroll pans out to where she is at the moment-which is a room in the Dojo, complete with some neatly-stacked towels in one corner and a bright pink punching bag.]

I promise you, there's a lot of problems that can be solved by punching them hard enough. Granted, most of those are problems related to something having it out for you,  but there are all sorts of variations on that particular issue. That's why I'm proud to start training anyone who wants to get started on learning the basics at the Night Market's dojo.

We'll be mostly covering unarmed combat with a bit of a focus on grappling techniques. I'm not really the best person to ask about magic or weapons, but if any of you want to branch out a little, I'll try seeing who else is available to teach.

Any questions?

[The scroll turns on to reveal a very frustrated-looking dragon. For not being able to make an upset face in a few days, he sure seems to be catching up on lost time now.]

Now that that utter nightmare is behind me, I'd like to take a moment to apologize to anyone I may have have inadvertently mislead by being a tiny pink cat for a week. I'm not small, I'm not adorable, and I actually know what I'm doing when it comes to battle.

Not to mention the fact that I don't make a habit of laying on people. Or chasing my tail. Or pouncing on bits. Ugh, what a disaster.

That said, I do recall running into a few unfamiliar faces, so I'd like to take the opportunity to properly introduce myself. If you met a small, pink cat with a katana wrapped in its tail, that was me.

I should have introduced myself then, but if I didn't, my name is Vergil. It was nice to meet you, even if I wasn't quite myself.

Also, Wally -- I think I owe you a proper rematch. Or at least a race.

Archives are open again, huh?

Maybe this time I'll find something even cooler down there. Anypony care to keep a mare out of trouble while I delve and loot everything that doesn't move?

[Gwen looks a little bit dazed after recent events, but that's not important. What is important is the structure behind her--a bright pink chicken coop, aflutter with the cackling of birds. Next to it is a little pen that she built herself for the chickens to play in, fenced with river stones and cushioned with clover and soft grass.

There are various flowers growing in the commune now, some of which she planted, and baby chicks running around her hooves. Spring may be almost over, but the image she shows on the scrolls is the picture of it.]


...I still don't think I've got this animal thing down right. We've had a few chicks hatch within the past week, and I'm not too sure how similar this is with Pokemon breeding...but they're kind of helpless. Not quite Magikarp levels of helpless, but up there. And while the adult chickens are deadly enough if you have them in a group, I find that really worrying.

Aren't they supposed to be able to, I don't know, breathe fire or something? They're not walking down the fire-breathing path.

So I've been thinking, we can try to set these chickens up with a much cooler bird. I'm not expecting immediate success--I mean, we can't expect eggs unless they like each other, so that bird better have one really impressive mating dance--but it's worth a try if it means the chicks are better able to defend themselves.

...

If anyone knows whether or not the Everfree's calmed down enough yet from the way it was back in April, I'd love to find out.

[The scroll points to Strong Bad's latest labor of love: a roughly square ring of mud somewhere in an unused field outside town. He then redirects the view to himself, making it quite apparent that his hooves are muddy from testing. Whatever. He almost looks happy for once!]

Alright, so I've gotta admit that Orihime has the occasional good idea. And this one's actually legitimately cool, so listen up: what do you say to a Ponyville mud wrestling league? I thought we could stand to vent some aggression in sloppy and entertaining ways. Come on, I know y'all have some aggression up in there. Don't deny that you want to push somepony into the dirt.

I'll be at the pit if anybody wants to test the ring in an entirely friendly exhibition match. Just this once, I can promise you it'll be clean---as clean as mud wrestling can get, anyway. It's on the road to the farm, you can't miss it.

The scroll resolves into the spiky-maned countenance of an extremely confused pegasus.

"Um...uh...can someone explain me a thing? I was out patrolling the Night Market earlier - since, you know, it's my job and all - and, uh...I saw a couple necking behind one of the buildings? Only...only they were both girls."

Pause to nervously adjust her wings.

"Is that...possible? Like...physically? What do you even call it? Is there a word for it?"

And she ends on a distressed plea.

"What is even happening anymore?"

[Well, lookie there, Ponyville. A red-coated unicorn is staring down at the scroll and not looking too happy.]

So this must be how it felt when you first woke up here, Dante and Alastor. Man. This is not what I expected when I managed to get back home.

[The unicorn tosses her mane for a moment as she lifts a hoof. The coat she’s wearing is torn at the knee, right where her elbow would be if she was a human.]

At least Lady got her gun back.

[She stretches out a bit and glances around.]

So…either one of you guys got a place for a girl to stay? I’m going to need somewhere to crash while I try to figure out how to use this thing.

[She lifts a hoof to prod at her horn.]

I don’t know anything about magic.

*Anyone who looks up in the skies today will see Alastor's castle moving from its usual position at the edge of the Everfree Forest toward the Night Market. Why? Well, just look at your scrolls, which Alastor is addressing from outside said castle.*

I don't like the feel of that magic building up in the Everfree, it's never a good sign when that much energy is building without anypony controlling it. Until somepony figures out what it's doing or it goes away, I'm moving to the Night Market.

Speaking of which, Luna's left me in charge while she rests, so if any problems show up, feel free to-

Oh, what a neat little toy you have there!

Wha-?

*Discord pops into view, examining the V-watch on Alastor's wrist. He reaches out to snatch it with his clawed hand, but only succeeds in sending Alastor for a tumble. The demon recovers and glares as Discord huffs.*

Oh, don't be so greedy! Surely you can share a little bit.

*Discord snaps the fingers of his paw and the V-watch shines...leaving Discord holding a ringing alarm clock.*

Oh now, that's just rude!

*Discord tosses the alarm clock over his shoulder, where it promptly explodes in a shower of fireworks. Alastor's castle, meanwhile, is starting to rumble ominously as its master sparks with electricity.*

I think what's rude is you showing up and trying to take my stuff. Now get out of here befo-

Oh well, I guess I'll just take this instead.

*Discord is abruptly twirling Alastor's sword in one paw, the other on his side. And then the castle lights up bright purple with a loud crack of thunder as Alastor holds out one hoof. The sword stops twirling and tugs toward Alastor once, twice, then flies toward him...draconequus still attached. And when it reaches Alastor's hoof, both beings holding the sword light up with purple lightning. For a moment, Discord's skeleton is visible, before he backs off with a huff.*

Go. Away.

Fine, you're no fun anyway.

*And as Discord vanishes, Alastor facehoofs.*

As I was saying, if there's any problems at the Night Market, feel free to call me.