So, you know what is even more confusing and upsetting than waking up and finding that some kind of voodoo has turned you into a pony overnight?

[Have a moment to think this over while Fai levers a severely unimpressed look at the scroll.]

It's waking up, realizing that you're a pony, and then finding out that your ex-boyfriend and best friend are also ponies and they're currently trying to kill each other. Or at least maim each other severely.

[Yeah, Lovino and Feliks, he's looking at you here. He's so very disappoint, you don't even know. Then he rolls his eyes and actually manages to smile, visibly relaxing just a bit.]

The somewhat better part is finding out that on top of my normal mutant power, which still seems to be working, I am suddenly apparently telekinetic. Or my horn is, maybe? Wow, that didn't sound dirty or anything... But seriously, is that somehow part of the deal? Like, become some kind of weird unicorn, get telekinesis? Or did I just develop a random secondary mutation while I was at it?

[He takes a breath, seeming to realize he's babbling, and shifts from one side's hoofs to the other's, seemingly in embarrassment, but his smile stays.]

So, either I'm caught up in some kind of mass-hallucination caused by a seriously weird telepath, or this is really happening. Either way, I guess I'm stuck as a pony for now. So, uh... what do people do around here, huh?

[Sometime after the ponies wake up, scrolls and quills suddenly start raining from the sky. Don't worry, its not the ponypocalypse, its just a squadron of flying white ponies dropping them from above.

Once everyone receives one, the scrolls suddenly glow and come to life, its surface revealing the visage of a large white alicorn with rainbow hair and a golden crown, sitting on a large, velvet-upholstered throne. She has a calm, reassuring, regal smile on her face as she speaks, though those who know her better can see the light of worry and concern in her eyes.]

Good afternoon, newponies! I am Princess Celestia.

I've heard of your arrival in Ponyville and of some of the more interesting stories that have come from it. We're...not certain how this phenomenon has occurred, but we here at the royal castle will put our efforts into solving this mystery, and I hope you will help us out as we wish to help you out!

Rest assured, no harm will come to you. Nor, as some of you have worried, are we holding you against your will. On the contrary, you're free to move about Equestria as you please, be it through Ponyville, Los Pegasus or anywhere in between. I only request that you use the scrolls we have provided you to check in from time to time, so that we know where you might be when we figure out the solution to this current situation.

If you have any questions, you are free to ask them of me. If I am not available - and, I will admit, there are times when I can be quite busy - there are many other ponies willing to help you, including the other princesses of Equestria. We are all in this together, after all.

[And then she smiles a little more. Its a much more relaxed smile. The concern is still there, of course.]

But, in the meantime, I'd also like to get to know all of you! I always like to meet new people, after all. I hear we even have a dragon?