[Dandy disappeared for a few days, not that he's expecting anyone to notice. They should've, I mean, he is fantastic, but when he addresses the scroll he acts like nothing ever happened.]

Hey, listen up, I actually have a plan, so maybe you should sit down and hear me out for once. Especially you guys trying to form an angry mob or something. Not that I'm opposed to a good ass beating, but you geniuses are dealing with a lady here.

[He's talking about the Pale Pony, if that wasn't clear enough yet.]

Honestly, I'm surprised in you. I thought ponies fed off friendship or some crap. ...I know you at least wail on people over it... [He rubs the side of his face momentarily as he looks off to the side. That is not a happy face he's making as he strolls down memory lane. But hey! He's all smiles again when he looks back.] So why the hell are you planning to kill some chick?

Lemme propose a step above friendship, I'm talkin' the power of love, baby! Women like these usually have some emotional backstory, who wants to bet she's really hurting on the inside? Maybe throw in some daddy issues while we're at it. Nothing a little tender loving care can handle, you know what I'm saying? That's why I'm going to score with the Pale Pony. That's right!

[Hold your applause.]

Step one? [He digs into his jacket pocket and whips out a long piece of cloth.] Boom! Blindfold. Can't use her creepy eye magic if I can't see her eyes. She might even buy the whole "in it for her personality" if I can't even get a look at that booty.

Science side of Ponyville might need to help me come up with the next steps, but I think I'm onto something here. Dandy out!