-and that's how I successfully ate five whole cans of whipped cream.

[Wait this isn't her room, and this isn't a camera, and this isn't her body! All this can only mean one thing.]

OHMYGOSH~ Waddles do you know what this means? [And right beside her is a pig with a blank and somewhat dopey expression]

That's right! We're back in magical horse land! Dipper didn't believe me when I was here last, but hohoho the horseshoe will soon be on the other foot!

[Mabel then turns to the scroll and waves]

Hiiiii friends, I don't know if you remember me but it's me Mabel! Last time I was here it was foggy and weird, but I'm sure you all figured what was up with that!

Everyone come to the commune! We're having a slumber party tonight! It's totally okay if we have a group slumber party there, right guys?

Oh, and...Twilight, you guys are still out in Stalliongrad, huh? [That's disappointing. Unicorn Twilight probably needs the slumber party a lot, judging from that message of hers.] Um, is there maybe anyone who could go out to Stalliongrad and get them? You could totally go back in the morning and keep researching stuff!

I just think it'd be nice for us all to get together!

*The only background visible behind Alastor is open sky, although by the fact that he's crystal, one might be able to assume that he's in the Crystal Empire. His cheeks are glittering with moisture as tears slide down his face, but he manages to keep his voice steady to address the scrolls.*

The female Dante is...she's gone. I can't even contact her telepathically. I can't be sure she won't be back, like Cecil was, but...I can't be sure she will, either.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news during the games, but...it wouldn't be right not to let people know. If anypony needs me, I have a scroll.

*Though if anyone with wings is determined enough to find him, he's lying down in the clouds above the Crystal Empire. Sulking.*

Citizens of Equestria! Your Prince Artemis speaks!

I have been turned into a stallion!

That is all.

Continue on your day.

[And Prince Artemis nee Princess Luna flips his mane in a very Fabio-sort of manner.]

[And someone's scroll opens up to show a confrontation between a pink-colored horse sporting a jacket confronting a group of black and white ponies flanking a... large Pokeball? Looks like Zedd was ready to unleash a monster and someone interfered.]

Alright, you punk, get out of the way! Zedd wants those Pokemon things captured lickety-split!

[The horse rolls his eyes in annoyance before shaking his head.]

Another wanna-be ruler? Pathetic. You're way over your head with this, y'know.

And who the hay are you to tell me what I am?!

[That seemed to be his cue. Standing up on his hind legs, he straps on a belt before holding out a card.]

I'm just a passing through Kamen Rider. Remember that! [The card slides into the device on the belt, snaps it shut and...]

[KAMEN RIDE: DECADE!]

[And we got a Kamen Rider in our presence. Decade charges forward, battling the mooks away before dealing with the monster. Obviously, Zedd didn't think this one through as a giant ball monster just seems too easy to beat. Which it is. The next thing heard as another card is slid in?]

[FINAL ATTACK RIDE: D-D-D-DECADE!]

[Decade leaps into the air and delivers a powerful Rider Kick on the way down, destroying the beast and reverting it back to a normal Pokeball.]

Tch. Seriously?

[It was night when Luna arrived back in Ponyville, and the first thing she did - in disguise as Dream Weaver, of course - was to buy a newspaper for no other reason than to check the date. After that it was a short time spent reconfirming that yes, this was the Equestria she thought it was - nowhere else would have the Night Market, after all - and trying to gather her thoughts over a coffee.

Yes, a coffee. It would be scandalous, if she didn't make it a point to avoid detection at all times. She's gotten better at that since she left... though it may be that one brighter star lurking right behind her mane making such things a reality.

When all is said and done, though, it's somewhere close to midnight when the scroll comes to life, the princess having not remembered to drop the disguise spell.]

This is Luna of the Night Market. Sixty days has been dilated into approximately six hundred.

We require an immediate report on the current situation of this Equestria, as well as a list of all who have vanished and who have arrived in our absence.

*Alastor's sitting next to a bloodgoyle with a bell around its neck, petting the construct's neck as if comforting it. Unlike the rest of the bloodgoyles, which never show any emotion except in response to flares of Alastor's power, this one actually seems to be fretting about something.*

Hey...you think you can manage a trip to the Commune? A friend of mine just got rainbowed and he has a cat he got here. I'm taking care of his assistant here, but it wouldn't work out well if I tried to look after his pet.

Attention, Ponyville citizens. It's been made clear to me that the non-native Princess Luna has recently been reported missing for longer than is normally expected.

To this end, such that her efforts are not left without management, I will be temporarily taking over authority of the Night Market and its operations. [Which probably means staying in the main office for a few days, at least. And sleeping there. If he remembers what sleep is.]

I will try my best to keep it running as smoothly as it has been since its founding. Any questions can be addressed directly to me.

Thank you for your time.

*Alastor sounds...tired. Strange for the demon, although not quite as much so for the people who've noticed how hard he's been working himself. He also sounds groggy, as if he'd only just woken up recently. In fact, the post opens with a loud yawn.*

I saw that picture of the runes that went up a couple days ago. Sorry I didn't say anything before now, I've kind of been to worn out to actually do anything about them.

*By which he means he's been out cold.*

But now that I've gotten some rest, I managed to work a translation spell on them. Been getting a lot of use out of that one lately, actually...

Anyway, you guys might want to sit down to listen to this, it's got some serious implications.

*He clears his throat, then begins speaking in a tone that suggests he's reading aloud from something.*

"Now I bring this tragic tale to the fore
Those six ancient stars, in the night sky
Victorious forever, but with woes in their core
Their all-seeing plans went at last awry
In mortal forms, where they see no more.
Five flawed gems, destined now to lie
Upon our grounds they must deign to crawl.
He whose truthful tongue ran dry--
She who loves all, and abandons all--
He who laughs while others cry--
He who in duty watched his kin fall--
He who richly craved to disunify--
And then there is she, the last we call.
She who is life but for whom we must die.
Prepare, ponies, prepare and stand tall
For to all which exists, She is always Nigh."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't the Elements of Harmony manifest as gems?

[Donna's expression is not a happy one when she appears on the scroll, but it is determined. Andrew isn't here right now, which means someone has to pick up the slack. She's addressing Celestia directly, but the scroll is open. Everyone needs to hear this.]

Princess Celestia, where exactly is Stalliongrad, and what's the fastest way to get there? If you've seen Zetta's message, we need to know immediately.

Or... Alastor. You're the one who can teleport, right? I remember seeing on the scrolls. Can you use Zetta's scroll message to get a group of fighters to where he is to stop him?

Shy, Alastor, come on over today. Mom and dad are visiting from Canterlot. Twiley, you're invited too if you want to bring Flash and Pollo. Call it a get together.

And I guess anyone who wants to meet my mom and dad are welcome to. Mom's a librarian and dad's an architect.

Derpster, don't think I forgot bout you either. Come on over!

[ Alastor and Fluttershy are sitting comfortably in Alastor’s castle. ]

Um, do you want me to start, or…

It was your idea, but I can handle the public speaking if you want.

Well… yes. I guess… if I miss anything… [ Fluttershy clears her throat. ]

Everypony, um… I had this idea. Well, Alastor helped, but…

It was mostly Fluttershy’s idea. I just provided encouragement and a few suggestions.

[ This was the tricky part. But it wouldn’t feel right unless she explained the whole situation. Her voice caught in her throat, and she swallowed. ]

[ Alastor puts what’s obviously meant to be a comforting hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder with a smile. ]

Thank you… I’m… dealing with a small problem. Slightly more than a small problem. I have a … part of me that no other Fluttershy here has. It’s a little scary, and… I’ve come to understand that it’s as much a part of me, as I am. I mean, she is. [ She goes a little pink. ] It’s complicated.

But… but I was noticing that I wasn’t the only pony here who was… struggling with that sort of thing. Or dragon, or … creature. And… some of us deal with it really well. And some of us don’t. So I… if it’s not too much trouble. I’d like to start a group. Open to anypony.[ This huge weight lifted off her chest, Fluttershy curls up into herself and looks to Alastor. ]

The idea is that anypony here who has some sort of unusual situation that they weren’t always comfortable with or still need help coming to terms with can gather once a week and just talk things out with people in the same boat.

Since Fluttershy and I have both struggled and come to terms with our situations, we decided we’d go ahead and gather up what we like to call a Band of Awkwardly Transitioning Supernaturals and see if we can help anypony past that hurdle.

Well, mostly come to terms. This is really important, though -- anypony can come. Even if you’re not sure if we’re talking about you. Especially then. This will be a safe space for anypony who’s trying to learn about themselves.[ For a brief moment, there’s a fire in her eyes. ] We will not tolerate anypony who threatens that safety. Under any circumstances.

On that note, yes, we will have ways of dealing with troublemakers. Anypony who makes somepony else feel as if they aren’t safe will be escorted out of the castle by one of my housekeepers.

[ A hippogriff made of some sort of red semi-solid substance steps into view behind Alastor and looks at the scroll with glowing eyes. ]

They won’t hurt anypony unless there’s already violence going on, but they will carry you outside if necessary.

But, um… please don’t let that scare you off, either. Our first meeting is on Friday, at Alastor’s castle. We hope you can make it.

[Nothing keeps the Overlord down, not even a brief and frankly embarrassing stint as a moonbutt. So the scroll opens to him seated on his throne, hooves steepled and a wicked grin on his face.]

I remember how to do that dreamwalking spell. Some of you have interesting dreams indeed. Some of you dream about things that would be shameful... or that you'd like to be kept secret. [He arches his eyebrows dramatically on that word.] Interesting what you can find if you lurk on the fringes of a dream...

Hyaaa ha ha ha ha! But let's not say I'm being unfair and one-sided! I, Overlord Zetta, hereby am accepting bribes and payoffs to stay out of your dreams and witness none of your secret inner fantasy lives in all their sordid glory!

[He gestures to a large, open chest clearly labeled "EXTORTION FEES".] Coffers are empty, fill 'em up so I get too distracted with money and materialism to wander in the night!

[The scroll rolls up to the sounds of Zetta's wicked laughter. A moment later it unrolls to reveal the unicorn again.]

Oh, uh, all Lunas get a free pass. Professional courtesy.

Visual
[Bertie is looking disheveled in a suit, splattered with rainbow colors and glancing around nervously. He's whispering, as well.]

Um... can anyone actually see this? I, er... I'm just a bit lost, you see? I was working with this real estate agent Johnnie, looking for a new house and, well, I was just having a tour of the basement. And the door sort of disappeared.

Fair dues to the bird who built all this. Dashed roomy for storage, but I think somepony left their dog down here.

[He turns the scroll around to show a massive three-headed dog snoozing on a slate gray pathway. The rest of the setting is bleak, darknesses interspersed with craggy mountains and stairways leading to lit platforms.]

I think there's somepony up at the top of those stairs, but if anypony could get ahold of Square Deal and let him know to come looking for me, I'd be dashed appreciative.

Action
[Having some sense in his head, Bertie takes to wing to get around the giant three headed dog and start up the stairs toward the platform. It was quiet here apart from the occasional snarl in the distance, so it only seemed right to keep whispering.]

I say... hullo?

*This is not Cecil's voice on the radio, people. It's every bit as smooth and relaxing, but it's very much a different person. Those who have met a certain lightning demon will have no problem figuring out who.*

The Grand Galloping Gala was this weekend and everypony who's anypony was there. In fact, I'd like to extend a personal 'thank you' for inviting us newcomers, even though I'm pretty sure my date knows enough people that she could've swung an invite for me if she had to. But of course, we shouldn't expect any big event around here to be quiet, should we? Late into the evening, a were-timberwolf crashed the party and tried to turn the guests into party snacks. Luckily, there were enough fighters around to fend him off and it turns out it was just Tails possessed by an evil amulet. This is why we should be careful with strange artifacts, people. Never know when they're going to be corrupted by dark forces intent on warping your mind.

And speaking of mind warping, it seems there's a bit of confusion going on with people's Cutie Marks. That is, people's Cutie Marks are confused about who they're supposed to be on. I've noticed several people with the wrong Cutie Marks ever since the Gala and they've been acting strangely to match. Sure am glad I didn't get caught up in that, could you imagine the radio without my wonderful voice? Didn't think so.

On a possibly related note, Donatello has announced his intent to take over Equestria. Personally, I'm not especially intimidated...but hey, it's not like I can predict the future. Maybe he will turn out to be a serious threat. Ooooor maybe the large number of heroes hanging around here will send him packing. Including, it seems, the formerly evil Lord Zedd. I'm starting to think we've got a sitcom in the making here.

But of course, after such a busy weekend, everypony could use a chance to relax, right? One of the Twilight Sparkles seems to think so, since she's hosting a slumber party tonight at the library. Everypony's invited, so feel free to show up if you're looking for an opportunity to unwind and mingle...hopefully without last minute attacks.

And on the subject of relaxing, I now give you the weather, brought to us today by Ponyville's very own Van Skysong.

This forest seems to be a lot darker than I remember it. Perhaps there was a reason why the client was willing to pay so much.

[The scroll shows Captain Celestia wandering about the Everfree Forest. Indeed, the interior seems a lot more dark an sinister than it usually is, though those who have seen the forest since the mirror incident are probably aware of this already.]

Nonetheless, I shall be here for the next several hours to gather herbs and other useful materials. While I am here, shall anypony else require anything from the forest? As I am already being paid to be here, we may be able to work out a fine deal. I must make a living too, after all.

[Suddenly, a distant noise could be heard, which catches Celestia's attention for a moment. A pair of weapons are produced from somewhere off-screen in response.]

Leave a message, and I shall get back to you once I have added a pelt to my spoils.

[The feed cuts from there, but not before a shadow could be seen moving through the trees.]

[Over the span of a day, things have gotten quite... freaky. A panicked family talking about a strange looking horse without skin invading their home and kicking them out. Even more, outside the town, a menacing tower has appeared. What would cause such a thing? Well, if you look at your scrolls, you'll see the culprit and holy crap, he's an ugly one - metallic bones with tubes attached to them flowing across his body and his muscles and brain exposed. His horn has a "Z" mounted on top, glowing as it holds a large silver staff crowed with a "Z" on it as well. His visor flashes as he finally speaks.]

Ahh, good morning, citizens of Ponyville. I am Lord Zedd, Emperor of all I see. From this moment forward, your happiness and goodwill are at an end for I am taking over. Oh, and don't try to run to your precious princesses. I don't care if they can move traffic - their power is no match for mine! I have defeated my long time nemesis, Zordon, and his teenage do-gooders, the Power Rangers, were helpless to stop me! The same will happen here; I guarantee it.

I'd advise you enjoy your last little bits of freedom while you can...

[The angle is bad but there's Lyra talking to Carrot Top at her door.]

Yeah sorry for being all sad and not myself. And thanks for hauling me back home too Carrot.

[Carrot Top's reply was indistinct and muffled from the partially rolled up scroll but there's no mistaking the fact that Lyra plated a mutually long kiss good night.]

See you later Carrot Top! I'll send over Derpy for muffins later, and Bon Bon owes you a bag of chocolate.

[As she trots away, she sighs happily.] So glad to have friends like that. I wonder if I should invite Carrot Top for another get together with Bon Bon later on...

The scroll resolves into the spiky-maned countenance of an extremely confused pegasus.

"Um...uh...can someone explain me a thing? I was out patrolling the Night Market earlier - since, you know, it's my job and all - and, uh...I saw a couple necking behind one of the buildings? Only...only they were both girls."

Pause to nervously adjust her wings.

"Is that...possible? Like...physically? What do you even call it? Is there a word for it?"

And she ends on a distressed plea.

"What is even happening anymore?"