[HOLY CELESTIA IT'S A GRIZZLY BEAR! A GRIZZLY BEAR IN A CLASSY SUIT-AND-TIE COMBO!]

Good evening, nation. It's me, Stephen the Bear, bringing you the first of our new series: Noovesweek Special Reports! This is a serious one, my friends, so put on your serious hats and meet me at Scroll Three.

[He turns to the side, apparently now being viewed by a different scroll.]

Some of you seem to come from worlds with some weird ideas about romance. Particularly the kind with stallions and stallions or mares and mares. So I'm here to sprinkle some good old-fashioned Equestrian truth-sauce on you: it doesn't matter if someone likes stallions or mares. Love is love, and making other people feel bad about who they're in love with is just plain un-Equestrian. It'd be like if I liked blueberry pie, but Applejack liked apple pie, and I told everyone she was a bad pony because of it! Who am I to stand between Applejack and her delicious, beloved apples, am I right? Let me tell you - it would take a far braver bear than me to do anything like that. That mare can really kick.

So from now on...

[He pulls a board out from somewhere, tiny in his massive claws. It reads:

ON NOTICE:
Racism
The thing where people act like they're the bosses of other people's dating

]

...that kind of behavior is officially on notice.

[The scroll reveals a small orange mouse, climbing up onto a flat end of a large spool of red thread. He struggles but he makes it! He sits with his hands on his lap, looking at the scroll with a small smile, and a brief wave of his hand.]

Greetings-- everypony, was it? Greetings everypony, and every animal alike! My name is Rung. Most of you don't know of me but, I hope to change that by offering my services.

[Rung clears his throat, adjusting his glasses.]

Where I'm from, I come from a large ship full of many giant robots, and I am-- was one as well. What I'm getting at here is that I was the ship's therapist. I have been doing my job for millions of years, and I wish to help in any way I can here.

[And also he doesn't want to keep borrowing money from Arcee.]

So if anyone needs an open audia-- ear, I'll be more than happy to assist.

Thank you for listening.

Uh, hey girls? [Not good, she's already blushing a little and looking just a little freaked.]

Minato asked me to the Gala. As a real date. And I would really, really appreciate some distraction or anything that'll keep me from freaking out right about now!!

[Flare pulls up her scroll, expression a bit more steeled than it has been in a while. Whatever she's discussing, it seems serious.]

So. By now, it should be obvious that the crap with that Mirror Celestia ain't the last of the troubles we got. I dunno who the buck this "Zedd" guy is, aside from a flaming load of manure, but I know we got enough fighters - native and newpony alike - that he doesn't have any more of a chance than Chrysalis did. Or Mirror Celestia did.

That's not good enough, though. There were ponies hurt in those fights, and one even killed, if th'news wasn't lyin' about that. It could happen again here. Will happen again here if we let it.

So we can't let it.

I'm not a front-liner; my talents are best put to use on the defensive. I'm issuing a call to arms - we need an evac plan here for the noncombatants, a place where they KNOW they can go to be safe in case of something tryin' to wreck the town. Ideally we'd have something like that in all the cities in Equestria, but most of 'em don't have to worry about the added population that Ponyville does so any Celestia-approved plans there'll likely still work.

[Realizing she's digressing, she shakes her head and sighs, collecting her thoughts before continuing on.]

Problem is, we need somewhere big. We had to split forces between the library and the night market's dojo when that mirror thing went down, so we need to figure out a way to either make something bigger, or there needs to be more ponies like me able and willing to keep the civvies safe.

Any thoughts, citizens of Ponyville?

[Of course, the expression she wears makes it clear that it was less a request and more a rallying call.]